Pertaining Differences

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2009-03-22T23:15:00.002+08:00

I was lucky.
But I was even more unlucky.
And for that, I hate myself. =(

Sleepless nights and haunting dreams

2009-03-17T00:35:00.002+08:00

Have you ever had a train of sleepless nights, and lines of haunting dreams every damn night for a month?

I do.

And everytime I close my eyes, it's a mix of lovely hallucinations and haunting nightmares. Help me. =(

And you said you'd TRY?

2009-03-12T17:39:00.003+08:00

I don't know what went wrong.
Either you take my word for it, or screw you.

'TRY' is an indefinite measure of either success or failure.

It could mean, "Maybe I could, maybe I couldn't."

Or also, "I think I love you, I think I hate you."

Or, "I think I got a baby, I think I don't."

Worst part is, "Let's try SACKING you from your job, and try NOT TO."

Yeah. Try. Let's try some of these. Let's try some of that. I'll try my best. If you don't try you won't succeed. Trying is helping yourself. Try hard and you will find success. Try try try try try try try try try try.

Holy shit man! Where did you get all these fuss from? You're creating a ruckus from this ol' phrase of TRY. TRYING shouldn't even be in your dictionary. Was the military made out of 'trying' for their operations? Is your test a 'trial' for your wisdom or foolishness? I don't think so.

Exams could be a way of testing everything in you to see who you are: But mathematical statistics don't always reveal the true, complex self of a human being. Since God made us this way, it could be his secret code to keep us confused deciphering codes of our body before Judgment Day comes. Then we'll all be laughed at: "Ha-ha! You didn't decipher that simple code? DUMBASS."

The Wise Young CHON SHENG told me once before: "Yes, or no. Bang, or leave."
Damn.
He was damn right.
Took me two years to get that into my head.

-Franz

Some people...

2009-03-05T02:18:00.002+08:00

Some people move on quickly,
Some people stick in their past.
Some people cannot accept ignorance.
Some people dare not talk.
Some people are too shy about it.
Some people just take chances.
Some people give their everything.
Some people just fall down and die.
Some people see the light.
Some people wander in darkness.
Some people accepts reality.
Some people argue to prove themselves right.

But to the person who was important to me that turned her back on me.
I never said it is too late for anything.
In fact, it's never too late.

Who was there to catch me when I fall?
Who was there to soothe me when I'm anxious?
Who was there to calm my inner instincts?
Who was there to give things a try?

Unfortunately, there was none.
I survived this long because I believed in God.
I survived this far because I shit on people's face.
I survived yesterday because tomorrow's another day.

But where were you when you're needed?

-Franz

How stupid can people be?

2009-03-02T12:37:00.002+08:00

To my dearest of all Malaysian citizens.
And to the worldwide audience.

Do you really, and ever believed what Mom and Dad always say?
Probably yes; because you're living under their roofs.
Probably not; because you have viewpoints of your own.
A little here and there; because you know what's best for yourself.
You don't give a fuck; because I'm talking cock.

We're not talking about parents here.
We're not talking about Mom and Dad's saying here.
We're not talking about the superiority of the Malaysian Sultan here.
We're not talking about religion or race here.
And also, we're not talking about who's the dumbest of them all - I leave this for you to decide.

Have you ever met a dumbass who thinks he's always right?
I bet you do. If you follow my writings for a while now, you'll realize that you've met one.

Yes, I admit, I'm a freaking dumbass. I rant about everything.
I rant about anything. And I'm a perfectly sane person.
Also, I'm a pure bitch when it comes to things that don't make any sense.

I'm a believer in freedom of speech, in which, you can tell me, "Hey puta you're a freaking idiot!" or "Franz, why don't you shut the hell up and go fuck yourself?"

Look, I wouldn't be angry, I will not be offended, and certainly won't file a lawsuit against you. I'd probably look into the logic of your comment and see if I'm right or wrong. Either way, I still won't file a lawsuit against you, especially when it's a petty reason. Right. And the petty reason we're talking about here is:

The word "Allah" cannot be used by Non-Muslims in Malaysia.
Oh shit, I just committed a crime. To the creme de la creme in Malaysia, hear me out.

I am a Christian, a Catholic Christian. As much as I love God and my mother calls me every week to check on me to see if I go to church, I'm a Christian regardless. The many times religions of all sorts in Malaysia tempt me to move over, I did not bite. Want to know the reason why? It's because:

My family brought me up in a good environment, and they love God.
Jesus is my saviour, God is my saviour, and I have this implanted in me since I was young.
I use LOGIC to determine whether people are blasphemous or not.
I don't get pissed off real quick because someone condemns my God or other Gods.
I'm eager to know and learn what the Buddha teaches me about life - Not his worships.
I'm eager to know and learn what Ghandi can teach me about humanity - Not his worships.
I'm eager to know and learn what Mother Theresa tells me about being compassionate - Not her worships.

And because I think right and think straight, I don't get into any troubles. I leave you the fuck alone with all your worships, and I learn from you about what you can teach me about life. I don't care if you talk about anyone important to me at all - Just as long as you don't touch them, if not I'll bite you.

You see, banning the word "Allah" really makes me think hard today. Are these people plain stupid, easily offended, thinks they're God, mocks MY GOD, or what? Here is a set of things that went through my head when they ban the word "Allah".

These people are obviously extremists.
These people think they know exactly which God they're worshiping.
These people think too much.
These people are worried that this could spark a controversy.
These people are really, really offended.
These people don't want to take this issue national.
These people are outright too defensive.

Come to think of it, I have now three counts of criminal offence against all Malay Muslims in Malaysia because I said the word "Allah" on my blog. Whoops, it's now four.

Look, you Jesus is not a prophet believers. I don't care if you want to say anything about my God or my people. You want to raise hell by posting this news on each newspaper headline in every country in the world? I don't give two rats' ass about this. You want to mock Jesus and tell me Christians are scums of the earth, I don't care. I just don't fucking care.

Every life is a miracle. It's not in my power to:

Be angry with you and ask you to go eat shit because you say that.
Get pissed and try to kill you for that.
Feel offended and want to retaliate.
Judge you when you die.
Judge your words or know how to rebuttle your words.

Let God decide for himself, whether this is a petty issue, or this is a big big issue.
Let Him know that you've done that to all Non-Muslims in Malaysia, and you're trying to suppress them in all your powers just because you believe it's offensive to you.

Oh, and yes. I did mention last time that people complain and don't offer solutions: Here are some of the solutions you may want to consider.

SHUT THE FUCK UP and think about how you can reunite with us Malaysians to combat the ALREADY-HERE RECESSION.
SHUT THE FUCK UP and think about how to improve your own morality.
SHUT THE FUCK UP and go exercise - It clears your brains and releases endorphines.
SHUT THE FUCK UP and go settle some issues which are worth settling.
SHUT THE FUCK UP and go ask God for forgiveness.
Tell the Malaysian public that this was a huge misunderstanding, that this thing will never happen again, and you respect all religions and races in Malaysia.
Tell the Malaysian public that YOU FUCKED UP REAL BAD and apologize sincerely.
Tell the Malaysian public that no one needs to panic because this is not even an issue - It's an ALLEGED WAR raised by ONE FUCKING PUTA that made many panic, psychologically.
Take your mats and pray for mercy this coming Friday.
Seek penance and get a blog - Tell people how much you love peace and not war, justice and not dumb-ass judgments.

And if you fuckers out there are such good Malay Muslims (look, I'm referring to the ones who imposed this "Allah" rule thingy), you will not judge any human at any time here throughout your lifespan - Because all of us are equal in God's eye. And he will tell you whether YOU fucked up, or I fucked up.

DAMMIT! I said it five times.
Will I be charged for a criminal offence of a non-Muslim saying/typing down the word Allah for five (5) times in my blog?

Yeah, maybe not.
Read the Terms of Use, puta.
Because if you don't, you're already violating my cyberspace.

So, don't be a dumbass..
Read the Terms of Use.

Story of a little worm

2009-03-01T22:13:00.004+08:00

Have you ever thought to an extent where your origins are?
Do you know why people say, "We are all the same?"
I think I can give you something to think about tonight, before you sleep.
Or at least, ponder for a few seconds.

You see, all of us have parents, like it or not.
We're not like Jesus, where he descends from heaven.
We're not like aliens, where they come down from ships.
We're not like stones, where we just appear out of some chemical combustion.
We're not like the wind, where physics happen.

We're formed in a two-bedroom apartment.
And this apartment ranges from black to white, hairy to bald.
Out of the MILLIONS, and BILLIONS, possibly TRILLIONS.
We emerged champion in the race.
In the race to survive, to fight till the end, to sustain the worst, break all barriers;
Just to reach one fucking egg.

And sometimes, competition was so tough that, Siamese twins were born.
Sometimes, competition was so stiff that there are twins, triplets and quadruplets.
Sometimes, things get rough - And your fellow little friends cut you open, leaving you deformed.
Sometimes, there was NO COMPETITION at all that everyone dies.
But think about the times when,
Your mother enjoyed the moment, your father felt absolutely magical.

They turn off the lights, go about their business.
Your mother fought the pain and your father shouted with joy (in his boss's office).
And that you are one individual, moving out of the two bedroom apartment,
Who became the RAMBO of your beings.
And emerged champion - Here you are in this world.

Now, let's see....
Isn't life a miracle?
How is it not beautiful anymore?

Think about the 'clans' that did not make their way.
Don't you think that's saddening?
If that's not, then you should seek psychiatric help.

-Franz

Kudaku GAGAH berani

2009-02-25T18:55:00.001+08:00

As I've predicted, assassinations happen when there isn't a way out of problems sometimes.
Or, they don't want to take the long shot.
Probably it's not worth it.

That's what you see in a growing country. There'll be a phase for it.

Be prepared, Malaysia.

-Franz

It gets so hollow

2009-02-25T00:11:00.002+08:00

Come to think about it.
I think I may be the problem.
Don't really know what's happening, but seems like I'm being pushy.
I guess it's because I try to outlive my dreams.
And force them into moving closer and closer to me each day.

Or set a timeline in which I know will definitely be impossible.
Or shed myself in darkness which relates much to paranoia than getting real.

That's why, I need that something.
That something that I cannot live without.
And you damn well know what.

-Franz

In the Cookie Jar

2009-02-21T17:53:00.001+08:00

Being a freak doesn't matter - Being a jerk does.

OMG! BROKEN PENIS!!!!

2009-02-20T05:35:00.003+08:00

OMG!!
I'm so scared! So scared! So scared!
What should I do??

------

I can't believe some idiots would actually make a hoax out of it. It's not funny and within an instant, any MALE OUT THERE can tell you that this is indeed one of the stupidest thing ever created by men after vibrators.

Some people are totally ignorant on all topics or just threw in a stupid prank.
If you look closely to the bones, it looks like a chicken drumstick's bone.

-____________________________________-

Do I need to tell you further?
http://www.snopes.com/photos/medical/fracture.asp

To the person who creates this - You're a freaking dumbass, puta.

Fashion disaster, or respect policy?

2009-02-20T05:24:00.002+08:00

HELLO? What the fuck is going on?
Look, if you want to wear a kimono, full suit, take a picture and have them uploaded into http://www.klpac.com/, please lose the tudung or don't take any pictures?

It's like I'm trying to replicate a frog, but I don't want to LOOK LIKE A FROG.
So please, don't be a fashion disaster. Think about other people like me who will be OFFENDED.

And no, I'm not against your religion or its teachings. All I'm saying is, wear things nicely the next damn time or DON'T WEAR IT!

Yes, I'm a BITCH.

We don't SPIT in your food, mind you

2009-02-18T10:58:00.002+08:00

Ever wonder what are your 'returns' if you're a bitch customer in a restaurant? Hmm.. Sounds like fun to know what will happen then. You see, you eat a lot outside, in coffee shops and in restaurants. Where ever you go if you're not doing home cooking, you'll most likely be eating out, if not a friend's house or a restaurant.

Yes, we hate bitchy customers. Yes, we hate customers who complain too much. Yes, we hate demanding assholes. Yes, we try our best to give you the best. Yes, we WORK HARD to give you good food.

But we DO NOT:

Spit into your food and say, "Screw you, jackass!"
Dig our nose, ask our fellow chefs/cooks to dig their nose and plant them into your food.
Transfer human excrements to your food.
Sneeze on your food and say, "Die, bitch!"
Cough into your food and start cursing you.
Place insects or non-food items by purpose to take revenge.
Cook spoilt foods and let you savor the glory of bacteria.
Add our semen into your food - Don't be FUCKING RIDICULOUS.
DISOBEY/DISHONOR our customers by putting in animal fat when asked for vegetarian (Mistakes happen).
Bite our fingernails and spit it into the food for God's sake.

Although we hate:

Customers who TALK TOO MUCH.
Customers who THINK THEY KNOW EVERYTHING.
Customers who ASK FOR HEAVENS when they pay PEANUTS.
Customers who order when the kitchen is closed.
Customers who make too much noise or annoy us psychologically.
Customers who DEMAND too much.
Customers who asks for the IMPOSSIBLE.
Customers who needs their meal in 5 minutes when there are 50 customers yet to serve.
Customers who complains about the SLIGHTEST, most most harmless thing.
Customers who gives us the BITCH attitude.

But we DO NOT,

Spit into your food and say, "Screw you, jackass!"
Dig our nose, ask our fellow chefs/cooks to dig their nose and plant them into your food.
Transfer human excrements to your food.
Sneeze on your food and say, "Die, bitch!"
Cough into your food and start cursing you.
Place insects or non-food items by purpose to take revenge.
Cook spoilt foods and let you savor the glory of bacteria.
Add our semen into your food - Don't be FUCKING RIDICULOUS.
DISOBEY/DISHONOR our customers by putting in animal fat when asked for vegetarian (Mistakes happen).
Bite our fingernails and spit it into the food for God's sake.

What MAY happen in a restaurant as the result of POOR MANAGEMENT would be:

Your food has alien items such as cockroach in mushroom soups or ants in your crème brûlée.
Your food comes out very late and tastes VERY VERY VERY different from before.
Our waiter spills food onto your clothing.
Our toilets smell/look like a rathole.
Our tables are unbalanced.
Our restaurant is dirty.
Our plates are cracked, food is cold and presentation is bad.
Our cutleries are not SANITIZED properly.
We do not abide by the rules YOU GAVE US.
We charge you for the things you did not order/eat. (Overcharge)

And we love customers who are:

Understanding - We prepare the best for you, you give us the best.
Patient and compassionate - We are damn busy you knuckleheads.
Does not demand too much - We're not supermen idiots.
(E.g. Order: Chicken Chop - No oil, no salt, less flour, no sugar, separate sauce (more), 1 order served in 3 plates, exchange potato with salad, no vinaigrette, no dressing.)
Doesn't order the IMPOSSIBLE - (E.g. Carbonara with no cream or 5 minutes of 10 orders with no advanced notice.)
Doesn't kill our waiters by asking him to wait for your 1 order when you cannot decide.
Keep family restaurants FAMILY and fine dining restaurants FINE DINING. (Don't bring children into a 10-star fine dining and see them running around like headless chickens.)
Shout at our countertops and curse us like we do not know what the hell we're doing.

By BEING A LOVABLE customer, you can enjoy these benefits:

Obtain extra food portions from us.
Get discounts and special offers discreetly.
Obtain extra food items on the house.
Get to do food testing on our behalf.
Receive superb service from our waiters and chefs.
Get a job here the next time you're retrenched.
Serve you first before any other customers (because you VVIP mah)
Walk out of the restaurant smiling and not cursing.
Get to know us better and possibly our handsome waiters, waitresses and kitchen staff.
Get reservation early and push others down the line.

Now do you understand, IDIOTA?

An answer to your question.

2009-02-17T17:57:00.000+08:00

Yes, I'm happy. Although I'm not perfectly, but I am.
Blessed as I am till this day, and for everything that every and anyone has ever done for me, every step that I take and decisions I make, grow me into a better person each day, if not for the worst.

Your text message showed me a little light.
Although I'd still deny exploring that funnel of opportunity.
Because to have a bright light shining upon you, you need darkness to overwhelm your environment.

So to speak.

-Franz

Are you real, or are you hypnotic?

2009-02-17T17:33:00.002+08:00

How do you define human behavior?
The answer would contain thousands of variables, hypothesis and theories.

See, a lot of us are not being real in our daily lives.
And as we journey towards our death in years to come, what matters most would be life in your years as compared to years in your life. All of us are going to die one way or the other, and you cannot cheat death.

I ask myself this question:
"In what authority do I have in this world, to ever judge anyone at all, or to give them a punishing of their life?"

That's exactly what the law enforcement does.
And their logic to this is that, "If I don't punish this bastard, there will be another out there who walks his path and possibly threaten millions of others."

Yup. So I agree.

This is exactly what RPK (Raja Petra Kamarudin) meant when he says "Death is not the end, it's only the beginning." This guy isn't referring to what you see on the mass media reported by thousands of bloggers and reporters out there. He was referring to something more of like a wave, an Age, an Era.

Which comes to, why I said I will not ask God to spare RPK's life. Of course, it'll be great if he lives on - I hope for that to happen too. But when you reach a level of complexity in a political environment, it's one way in and no way out. He chose his path, made his stand and bear the consequences that will haunt him for all his actions.

Back in ancient times in the Roman history, you may have already seen a flawed system. Even in Hitler's management. And way before Hitler, management guys have already invented a stable system of 'Middle Management'. Peter Drucker said that Du Pont was responsible for this. I don't know how true this is, but it's not like I give a damn.

But the damn that I give in is our personal growth. How we shape our community, how we shape our peers, how we shape our family, how we shape ourselves. Have you forgotten what's it like to be tortured and manned in a cellhole like an animal? All of us who live long enough may have already endured such pain - Physically or psychologically. At most, what mercy do you ask from God when you're not even showing one?

For Atheists, think human.

-Franz

Such a shame, and I'm ashamed

2009-02-17T12:34:00.004+08:00

Raja Petra is undergoing his trial now.
And this article is what a true Malaysian should be.
Or any other people out there of sorts should follow in practicing and portraying his values.

And I can tell you now that.
I'm so ashamed that this happened to Malaysians.
For so many years now, I've never came across or encountered such situations that injects patriotism in my feelings. Because other than just my personal life and of others, I feel nothing else. Not for Hang Tuah, not for Mahathir, not for Khir Toyo or not for Parameswara.

Studying History back in high school last time educated me of what my government wants me to know about WHAT they WANT me to KNOW. As biased as it seem it could be, fabricated it could be, I don't give a fuck. Tell me which part of the Three Kingdoms in China back in 220 A.D. (after the Han Dynasty) is not at least flowered up or incurred inaccurate historical statements.

What RPK said on his 'last' blog post was right. Death is not the end, but the beginning. From Hollywood-influenced movies to historical facts we will know that RPK will indeed be one of Malaysia's icon - A legend of time that will be marked in the books for life, stories passed from generations to generations and people remembering his name in defence of the People's Rights in Malaysia.

I pray that the lessons that he thought us all will stay. I will not ask God to spare his life, because one life of his could be a sacrifical icon to spare the life of many thousand Malaysians out there who are in danger of this government's 'abduction'. Long we've known UFOs do abductions without much knowledge of it ourselves. But this is a little different - More like a high-level abduction which will take place in one of Malaysia's highest level of Royalty court.

Indeed, many have made mistakes and they paid the price. The people, the government, the community, the Mat Rempits, the Cina Gangsters and Benggali Rebels. We're all just humans - And humans need to fall before they'll realize what's wrong.

And RPK's words of wisdom said - This will be the most challenging 2 years of political regime Malaysians will go through. The Rise of the People's Voice and fall of the Malaysian political government that has monarchized Malaysia for way too long is bound to happen. Chances are that, we who are living in this generation will experience that.

We'd find less (or none if possible) bloodshed on the streets. People will mentally panic and drop frivulous conclusions that a logic mind cannot accept. All will stumble and fall - Many would perish in the process of the tumbling down the greatest power. And in many cases, there would be many faceless and voiceless people sacrifice or be sacrificed.

I'm a businessman-to-be, son of the Narcis family, ex-Chef and a lover of my special friend. Given my rights and duties as a Malaysian; not a warrior or a patriot, I shall carry this emblem that has been carved right into my soul for the rest of my generation, and make sure this story works in the flow of generations to come. Everyone out there will remember that there was one Malaysian, one spirit, one soul, who spat in the face of criminal injustices and sacrificed his life for the betterment of 26 million Malaysians.

I take this not bitterly, but utter bitterness out of my mouth to grow my children, my generation, my offsprings and my soul to a more respectful position. And I implore all Malaysians to seek no surface but the face of it within.

Ashamed I am to be a Malaysian, hawking in the streets of Malaysia in respect of all my subordinates who would've crazed enough to watch their leaders and icons walk the path of glory, I stand firm in the hands of God to beg for mercy. Spare us another chance to see the progress of us many Malaysians who come into this sick mishap.

Rise people of Malaysia. You're now in the scenes of:

"The Rise and Fall of Malaysians"

Engrave this in your hearts and let it lead you to a better future.

Are you looking for marriage?

2009-02-16T02:19:00.002+08:00

NO, NO, NO! Don't get me wrong. I'm not promoting myself asking anyone out there to marry me. Of course, I'd like to have some fun first! =D

So far, a few of my friends made it already - And I feel happy for them. My congrats goes to Hemalatha, Chong Jin and xxXx. You guys ROCK babe!

But when I think about it, it hits me hard. Not that I'm afraid of the commitment or marriage itself but when I think about kids.. Damn. Kids. What if my kid became like me, and instead, stray around and fuck himself up? What if she goes out there and see the dangers of the world, be innit and when she wants to come out, it's too late?

What if:

My daughter is fucked by her boyfriend, and the boyfriend couldn't make it out in time?
My daughter is fucked by a stranger, and she suddenly likes to play S/M tries to peep on my wife and I if we did it?
My daughter likes to fuck so much that she begs us for a threesome?
My daughter fucks my son or vice versa? Oh My GOD!!!
My son takes drugs?
My son smokes?
My son joins the wrong group and ended up being killed?
My son gets into trouble and land himself in jail?
My son rapes someone else's daughter and I have to bear the shame?
My son is GAY!?!?!
My daughter is GAY?!?!
I am GAY!?!

Okay.. the last one is impossible. But there are so many things to worry about when you want to get married and have kids. Let me fill you bastards in a little, so that you can start thinking, worrying and shake your balls in fear that something like that may eventually happen.

Your spouse cheats on you.
Your children grow up not healthily.
You lose your job and your wife is a housewife.
Your children wants something you cannot give them forever (like a threesome)
Your children become pornstars (Look, it's not commercialized in Malaysia, ok?)
Your dick cannot 'Merdeka'. (Less worries about this.)
Your wife don't let you fuck her.
You don't have money to buy pampers and milk powder.
Your friends are getting married so many times that you almost mistaken his wife for yours.
That cute like 20-year-old girl is caressing you.
That hot pornstar offers you a chance of your lifetime.
You get sick and die early.
Your children fail in class, fail in examinations, fail at work, fail at home, fail everywhere.
Your children got kidnapped.
Your children were murdered.
Your children demand too much and you can't give them. So they moved on to another family who can give them.
You lose your fingers.
Your hair starts to fall.
Your brain starts to fail.
You feel like killing your 10 month infant who's crying so much at night.
Your neighbour's children shouts so annoyingly that you feel like killing all of them.
Your children blogs about you, and say you have a small cock.
Your daughter's breasts are bigger than your wife's.

Look, I can't think of everything right now but I'm sure you can be creative. But these are somewhat not very related to marriage, but rather family management. How do you know what you're going to get when you tie the fucking knot? Tying the knot is like putting yourself in a cage. Putting yourself in the cage means you cannot fly.

See, some of the things you need to know:

You can't fuck around anymore.
Your wife gives two fucks about your finances.
Your wife wouldn't let you date another girl.
Your wife slaps you when you're drooling more than 2.34 secs to another lady.
~~Your wife~~ You don't get the pleasure when you fuck her (because you're somewhat impotent. Why? It's the SAME DAMN HOLE for the past 10 years!)
You have to be back for dinner or she'll not let you touch her.
Everything she cooks has to taste and feel nice.
She owns a gun, and she's hot tempered. (THANK GOD we're in Malaysia)
She moans too loud and your neighbours think you're such a good fuck.
She's looking at another woman (got pros and cons lah..)

So? What happens next?
Damn. I'm worried sick.

Damn.

-Franz

Valentines & A Mug of Beer

2009-02-15T14:35:00.001+08:00

German beers are fucking good.
Especially when you do light, crisp beers. I don't trust drafts, since they're thousands of miles away.

My 2009's Valentines ended with a sweet dream.
And tells me exactly what I wanted.
Because I was being absolutely so natural inside that dream.
Screaming and shouting for joy after seeing her and feeling her acceptance.
Dang.

What have I done?

My friends and I

2009-02-13T19:51:00.010+08:00

Hi, my name is Franz and I'm the idiot you see on this first picture. As you can see, those were the high school days, and I damn well know that I'm a spoilt prefect. I smoke and drink, gamble and pimp. Since I hated these bastards so much for playing with my crutches when I broke my leg back in 2004, I decided to show them two middle fingers (that I rarely do).

And to make things more confusing/interesting, I put a smile on my face and drew an alien drawing on the chalkboard you can see in the picture. Why am I such a fucking idiot? Because I complain about everyone and everything, so if you don't like it, piss off, cabrón. I only do the PUTA and don't give a fuck if your chicas are hot because I'm a pendejo and I don't give two fucks about your sorry ass.

So if you think this is awfully rude and vulgar, stop reading this because you will go fuckout on me later.

It has been so fucking long since I spoke of my friends.

Last time, I use to read their blogs EVERY other day, and I would like to exclusively hand them my credits on this blogpost. Note: This may be a 'hate' note. So don't fucking read this post if you're a piece of shit and fuck like cow-shit.

First of all, the infamous Tong Weng Ting.

Tong's picture look like he's a pimpdaddy, except if you look at the whole picture, then you'll see why he's not one. I use to read his blog almost everyday last time (I look back at the archives and see what's interesting stored in there). But since 2007, I've been lacking the read because I'm working extra hard.

Tong's morale gave a boost to some people, made some bitches horny and yeah, he got grains from the sack. What's better is yet to come - He was drunk the night before and TOOK MY FUCKING MILD SEVEN! Holy shit. Last time it was Poh Soon, now it's Tong.

And when that horny dude H'ng Han Ping shaved his head, eyebrows, body, leg, pubic, and other masculine hairs, it didn't got bad. Tong's did.

You can check him out at http://j-tong.blogspot.com/

There goes Mr Lau Wei Liang.

He may look adorable in the picture, but when it comes to the real person, he's more adorable than ever. Look at the picture on the left. You'll know why I say that.

'Flauken', is what he calls himself. Lau Wei Liang is his given/birth name. One of the best things about this idiota is that he never loses his sense of humor (although sometimes he cracks a dumbass joke).

Inspired by Wang Lee Hom and Raymond Liu, he's now actively seeking for a job in a technology company as a technical person. Hire him, anyone? Lovelane express coming through! =)

Although I've seen many gay-ass pictures of him and his solid ONE FUCKING PACK stomach, his stomach has never ceased to amaze me with it's growth in size or hair. Yes, hair. Talking about hair...

He's not the bastard that takes SWEAT from his STOMACH and try to rub it on people. Another FUCKING PIG, will do that (look below).

For more gay pics of Flauken or if you like him, visit him at http://flauken.blogspot.com/

One more, Yuvindra.

Yuvindra is a highschool friend, and asked me last night if "I had a friend in Perth". I was thinking... Perth? Australia? Nah............. I don't fucking think so dude. But what the fuck is he trying to do, getting a present for someone by the name of SIM which sounds so fucking familiar and he writes about her on the blog, msn's PM and so forth?

Goddamit. It must be some girl I know.. Some girl many guys use to fantasize about and her BROTHER must be OUR BROTHER and probably 1,000 HSBMers have masturbated thinking of her. Damn. Sim? You must be fucking kidding me man!

You can check out this loverboy at http://yuv-in.blogspot.com/

The HSBM-spoilt brat, Chang Shea Speare.

You may not know of his story - Neither do we. He was technically duped of 'information' from Form 4-5. And yes, this handsome little bastard didn't say a word of thank you. His mom is hot, though. When I was 17, I drooled over his mom. Like seriously! Nono.. Sorry auntie.. I know you're reading this.

In his blog titled "What's Going On?", he speaks of his life's journey with foods and friends. I've heard many complain that this fella is always out with girls (and you fucking hell know that's guy-envy, in an extremely childish manner). Growing up to be a mummy's boy and working his way to a Girlfriend's bitch, I'm not surprised.

You can check this handsome kid at http://sheaspeare.blogspot.com/

Gooi Chin Cheiw
http://gooi-5626.blogspot.com/

This is one of the biggest, most fucked up, piece of cock SHIT I've ever come across - But he's a ROMANTIC. For those of you out there who are his ex-girlfriends, you're a dumbass. I know you do not see this in him, but hell, the way he plan things for you all is like a desperate person looking for sex that wants to do anything to get laid.

Although he's not so much of a bitch compared to Harihara Sutthan (below), you will know that he's indeed quite a good friend, religious sex machine and he always forget to throw condoms away after sex. And his dear Mom will have to pick it up for him with total gross.

He now sells fruits for a living and dreams of a better life with one of his dream soulmate. Although his sentences are all full with cock shit, you can probably not get any friend like that in the world anymore.

And since Blogger.com have a VERY VERY bad WYSIWYG editor and I would not like to use the HTML editor, I will end this thing right here and right now.

Ugh - Such ANNOYANCE

2009-02-13T19:31:00.004+08:00

To all you bitches and bastards out there:
First, I won't say something like 'Get a LIFE' before I write all of these down.
For now, I'd rather say something like: "GET REAL"

Uh-huh, uh-huh.
Let's start.

"Okay............."
Uh huh uh huh.... Yap yap yap yap bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch.

"Awwwwwww............."
I'm lonely also lah.. Can teman me ah?

Or.. The classic one - TAIWAN.

And also the laid back gang-banging dudes,

YES!
YES!
YES!

Let's support Malaysia and it's causes.

YES!

How To: Propose to your Fiancée

2009-02-11T11:08:00.002+08:00

Finding the right time to propose to your fiancée can take a while to think.
Because when I mean the right time, it means right location, right period, right people, right event, right clothing, right RING, right balls...

Imagine if you're the girl, and your fiance comes to you in a beggar's suit, wearing dirty slippers and torn pants, with bad body odour, cracked specs, dirty outlook and a broken teeth. He kneels before you and say, "MARRY ME BITCH!!!!"

I can't imagine that happening.

That's why for the perfect one, I'll leave it to you to think and decide. The reason I'm writing this is because I want to make all you bastards aware of the intensity on the other side of the world when it comes to proposals.

Proposing to your wife is like doing a business proposal for an important, angry and fussy client - Who will pay you RM1,000,000,000,000 for one of your services and you have 10 services to offer him. So, how would you draft a proposal out so properly that you want to make sure you don't lose this job to your competitors? Let's see some of the classic examples:

(Under a moonlit Star Cruise ship). *Kneels down on the left leg* *Eyes looking straight into Jane* "Jane, will you marry me?"
(In the park, where beautiful city lights are around them) *Kneels on both knees* *Ring inside the mouth, on the tongue* "Jane, I lwwuuvvv you, weel youuu meh-ry me?"
(In a warzone) *Soldiers shooting their M4s at enemies* *John got hit, going to die* *Jane runs to him in tears* *John pulls out a cigarette, lights it up, holds his wound* "Ja........nn......eee......" *Takes a puff* "Will..... you......." *Takes another puff* *remove ring from the pocket without the box* "................" *DIED* Jane opens his palm and saw the 1/2 carat ring: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
(In NY city) There's a car chase... boom! Everything is exploding - The enemy helicopter is following him. He swirves into a small junction and bangs a cow. The cow went into pieces! He drives on, heading to Harbour Park. Stops, took out his rocket launcher and shoots at the helicopter. The helicopter explodes! He took out is AK-47, started shouting, "AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!" and sprung his bullets to all his 50 enemies chasing him and surrounding him....... The whole park suddenly got quiet.... John took out his wedding ring and go, "Jane.... will you...." A car BANGED him and in matrix motion, as he flew down to the river, john said, "MARRRY ME......... no.......!!!!!!!!!!!" and threw the wedding ring to Jane... went right into her ring finger. Jane was like, "Awhhh... so sweet."

I wouldn't say they were classic, but at least I've seen some of these shit on movies. Sometimes, girl movies can tell you how they'd like you to propose to them. The better part of it yet - They love it when you try and read their mind. Sigh.

But TAIWAN! TAIWAN!!! Back to the TAIWAN shit. See, I commend Taiwan for putting up with a lot of good shit on TV, that made many fantacize and BEG their partners to do something like that (of course, young girls la..). And when they think that's sweet, look what's sweeter: My Life and my Cock babe.

Let's take a few examples of a Taiwan-inflicted marriage proposal.

In a beautiful restaurant, where it's fully booked to only make them 'alone', the girl walks in alone as the boyfriend asks her to. See looks at the restaurant, closed, and thought he wanted to surprise her on her birthday. Suddenly, the lights turned on and the roof opened. A helicopter flew above it, dropping all the rose petals - REd and white into the restaurant. The tables flew and cutleries dropped.

Then Winter Sonata's song plays. The slowly comes down from the helicopter with a rope, in an expensive suit, with a flower pinned on his tux's pocket and a hankerchief tucked into the pocket.

His eyes are blue (contact lenses) and he takes out a 10 carat diamond ring, kneeling down, saying, "Cheng YuLing, your tender skin and soft hands tenderizes my heart so and make it beat like a Godforsaken heart. Your beautiful eyes, warm touch will give both of us all we need to a happy, reunited love. Will you, Cheng YuLing, be my wife and guardian to my soul?"

HOLY SHIT! I need to stop here.
Dammit.

If I can think of a more proper way, you can follow me on this blog and read further on the next post.

Just a little confusion, that's all

2009-02-11T10:45:00.004+08:00

The other day when I was talking to Michael Teoh, I was thinking about something - What made me grind my teeth and wind up here in Selangor? Would I still see the world in the KL-perspective have I not ventured here? Is this risk taken blindly?

Long time ago, back in 2004, I still have a pretty good memory of this incident. An incident that I couldn't forget. Something I wish would turn back and be merry again. Unfortunately for a time like this, nothing of this sort is possible.

If you look closely into my I/C, there's a reason why I wore that shirt to go take the picture. But that same shirt was burnt by me when Gooi finally saw the moment I snapped - In that 17 years of my life, I haven't been that pissed off before. And if I were to compare it with today, nothing did piss me off as much as the other day; not even come close.

I didn't see the light for the first 2 years when I was in Genting, then back into the 2nd semester of my school. During that time, I was already distracted - Getting new leads from everywhere in hopes of a better tomorrow. I still thought that heck, after I graduate college, I'll be working in a restaurant for the rest of my life. To Switzerland, degree, and finish off there.

Unfortunately, things didn't happen that way. When I knew my mother was to take out her retirement money, I didn't buy it. Retirement money isn't something you should never take before retirement - And I understand that EPF deductions can sometimes be painful. It's okay because it's for yourself. But what about personal income tax, the BE form thing?

So.. During the start of 2007, after a lot of incidents happen, I begin to realize one simple fact.

With every ex I broke up with, I learnt an extremely valuable lesson.

And as every minute passes by, the memories accumulate, until I start to not think of it anymore - Then it'll be stored far behind my brain.

Still, I'd credit the most to my first, because that was a painful, dreadful, hard lesson which I could probably still control (it's not money). And when I think of those days..

I remember the Kelisa, Gay Park, and tears seeping into my shirt, making it very wet on the left side - A red shirt, indeed. With the words, "I don't know how to live 3 months without you."

And after that, I kept that shirt unwashed, in my closet under all my other clothes to preserve the tears. Unfortunately I couldn't do so. But when the unwanted happened on the 25th of December, I sprung out in angst and have it turned into ashes.

Today, approximately 4 years later, it remains fresh in my mind.
The 118 constant heart beat rate carries that information through my logic and down to my receptors, in every second when I'm idle.

Happy Valentines Day.

Remember this day?

2009-02-09T14:48:00.000+08:00

Remember this day, when the roses were still flying around?

Don't know if you do.
I'd understand if you don't.

=)

My dreams lately..

2009-02-09T14:34:00.002+08:00

Were like a flashback of memory - Things that I've done in the past, people that I've met who were important to me - Most of them hold so dear in me that I wouldn't have realised if there weren't things called 'Dreams'.

Probably I was tired. Mentally.
But on the other hand, looking back at what I've said over the years,
There were many who were in my 'In-Denial' list.

And as far as I can tell, history is repeating itself.

Sigh.

Happy Chinese New Year...and sorry

2009-01-29T11:10:00.002+08:00

Dear friends,
Happy Chinese New Year!

I'm sorry for not being able to attend to your invitations.
There are so many commitments I have to follow up to, and regrettably, I can't live up to this one.
Work's tough and I hope you do understand.

My apologies for not attending any parties goes to:

Lau Wei Liang @ Mois.
Zhiying @ Penang.
Stooi @ Rumah Terbuka Sg. Dua
HSBMers @ Seafood Restaurant (today).
Siew Kim and Ning Shin @ reunion (yesterday)
Reena @ Airport.
Jasper Ooi @ Airport

I'm sorry I couldn't attend any of these, and I sincerely express my regret. I'll make it up for all of you (next year) with some crazy partying, (if you allow me to).

-Franz

Names that humiliate me so

2009-01-16T17:01:00.003+08:00

Ever wondered, where everyone and anyone get their name?
Ever crossed your mind what Jesus, Moses, Joseph, Mary and John means?
Think about it.

One day, you'll be naming your kid. And your kid will carry THAT name for the rest of his or her life. And one mistake you make, could ruin his future, and will be laughed at discreetly by people like me. Oh don't you judge me now.. Let me explain to you why, and what, and the consequences of giving your kid a wrong name.

Before that, suppose you have a name for yourself. Say.. Lim. You'll be addressed as Mr. Lim, and everyone knows who Mr. Lim is. But fuck, there are over a million Lims in this world. Imagine if you collect all of the Lims, gather them in a stadium then call, "Mr. Lim, your wife is horny.." You'll have the whole stadium beating the crap out of each other.

Nevermind that. It's a small issue. We know that's impossible. But now I'm speaking of possible possibilities.

WHY.
Naming your kid with common names like Tracy, Sabrina, Josephine, James, Bond, Micheal, Jackson, Jack, Margaret, Ann, Annie, Danny, Dan, Mark, Tyson will be boring. Everyone has that name. For all you know, there are more than a thousand people in your area has a name like that. Refer to the story above.

What about a not-so-common name? Maybe something like Adamin, Calamin, Phosphor, Blunty, Zackig, Blanca.. Doesn't really sound right. You're worried that some idiot out there pronounce it wrong for the rest of your child's life, and he'll be so pissed that he slapped the teacher, enter juvenille and smuggle drugs in later in life, resulting in a death sentence at 22 years old.

What about a funky name? Maybe something like Kwokie, Aaronnie, Stingy, Billie, Fannie, Vivianie, etc. Sounds very mushy. You're worried that some day, your child's partner may confuse his/her name with a pornstar name, and will never get married for the rest of their life because the partner thinks that everytime a pornstar calls upon a name in a porn movie, it could be him/her filming or fucking in the movie.

WHAT.
So what the hell should you name your kid? Really, I myself do not know of this shit. I'll probably ask my wife to go buy a book, calculate probabilities and analyze factors affecting the name that doesn't have all of the above.

Similarly, if you have no idea of what to name your kid, why don't you go back to basics?

Simplicity is the spice of life, so does basics.

Right. Let's start.

Animal names - Ah Tu, Ah Kao, Kah Chuak, Ah Cim, Ah Hu, Ah He, Ah Ngiau, Ah Ngiau Chu.
Names of body parts - Ah Lan, Ah Bai, Ah Cibai, Ah Puki, Ah Lanpa, Ah Leng, Ah Leng Tao, Ah Lanpa-ci, Ah Lanciau, Ah Ci.
Names of weird things - Ah Kan, Ah Po, Ah Keyboard, Ah Mouse, Ah Tia, Ah Monitor, Ah Book, Ah Handphone, Ah Hun-ki, Ah Hunki-kong.
Names of WEIRDER things - Ah Internet, Ah Grocery-shopping, Ah Ke-lim, Ah So-hai, Ah Ma-Chau-Hai.

But! People!
I was just kidding lah..
People got brains ma... So now they give EXTENSIVE, GREATER or LESS THAN GODLIKE kind of names like:

'Apple' Lim Su Win
'Mango' Chan Ci Yau
'Ice' Li Ling Lee
'Coco' Lee
'Bobo'Chan
'Dodo' Bong
'BoingBoing' Lin
'Kungfu' Shu
'Honey' Lam
'Creamy' Tam

Come on la bradder....

-Franz

They are like FOREVER.

2009-01-15T19:12:00.003+08:00

Forever MY rotten ASS.

Previously, I remembered blogging about the 'muacks' thing which made me puke so.
And when that one thing came to me, it hit me like a thunder.

For those who know me long, I curse upon many things in life.
Not that I'm an extremist or I do not accept other people's way of life,
It's just that I'm being a bitch.
I still love you all, forever....

YEAH RIGHT.
The word 'FOREVER' goes a long way, assholes.

Ever noticed when, some point in your life, you'd say forever?
Or mean something like that?
Or feel that way?
Or taste the forever blood?
Or thought you've been said to.
Or saw it on the movie of your favorite pornstar?

Today's your lucky day, bitches!

-Franz

---_---

2009-01-13T14:51:00.003+08:00

I can't speak it out loud.
Even if I know this might just be the last day of your presence.

Bollocks! Talking about luck.
I wish that you're back here soon enough.
Doors are always open.

Be safe on your journey.

-Franz

Dammit.

2009-01-13T14:37:00.003+08:00

This has to be the worst day of my entire 2009.
Beginning of the year and I'm feeling this way.
Of course, it's not everything that I complain about.
It's just one thing that I cannot get off my mind.
And that one thing has been bugging me so for the whole night.

And that one thing could make me go kookoo, without anyone even knowing it.

2007 back then, I've made a drastic decision.
A decision which came with its pros and cons.
A decision where I'd die to make it work.
A decision where I hoped for to flourish in the long run.

I wouldn't say I'm dwelling in the past.
Just that I don't see the future innit.

How would you feel, if you were to swear on your tombstone for a particular reason,
Which you know you wouldn't have the shot to?

You've forgotten your roots.
And most importantly, affection.

Why have you done so?
Why?

Why?

-Franz

Wretched pink, leave

2009-01-05T23:21:00.003+08:00

How can I call something of our politicians, and not think disguise?
Something to ponder about.. Hmm. While I wouldn't say all of them are like that...
Somehow people fail to understand greed as a mortal sin, rather than a venial one.

Scrolling through Facebook not only make me feel more nostalgic, but melancholy.
This stride of boing cuts through my flesh so.
Or at least my brain tells me it is.

Sometimes I ask myself.
What makes people say that I look like 28?
Of course, some oldies guess it out yet better, or at least lower.
I don't take any pride on it, mind you.

Of the many people I've been in contact over the last ten years, many have seem to be jollying, to the extent where it makes me feel like I'm an idiot for choosing this path.
While I'd argue this is temporary, but who can give me back that 21 year old fun? And what is that compared to a 30-year old fun, where everyone's tying the knot and I'm lusting for a 21 year old crack?

Time waits no man, sure.
Even that dark guy sitting beside me is speaking of philosophies I speak of two years back.
Of saint and angels.
Oh dear.. I must've lost track of time.

I flood envy of the many who could enjoy life when there's still time.
Yet I sin and wish I'd never goto hell for that.
How much more torture can I take from this, I've yet to know.
My peak isn't up.

I'm living in an island, where people come and go, but one never stays.
Since this island looks empty on the outside, the greens never fail to keep me coming for more.
It bears fruits of empathy, sorrow, lust, fear, excitement;
Yet I couldn't live without a help of a farmer,
Toiling the ground to spread fertilizer.

You have never felt this emptiness.
When you have failed it all, and you're left alone in the dark.
Knowing that nothing tree could ever grow again.
No sword will ever be sharp again,
No gun could shoot bullets anymore,
No tear will ever fall,
No rain will ever drop,
No bird will ever fly over.

And it's that gentle creature right above you.
That controls so much of your life.
That it gives you a kind little slap,
With thorns to pierce your flesh,
And citric to burn you so.

But how would I learn should I not endure such torment?
Speak sense, creature.
Speak brains, nature.

For I am, none but the fucker who cares nothing more than less of physics,
In a time where I could be drinking wine under a serene moon,
If I could only be touched with a blessing,
Yet a curse.

...yet a curse.

-Franz

The Old Cock

2009-01-05T23:04:00.002+08:00

My child's upbringing worries me so at this age.
Sounds dangerous to me, but I don't know why. Probably it's because of the people I mix with here.

Long have I wanted to turn the knob and say enough to myself.
But I find myself so not over it.
Not over something which has value yet in mankind.
Money could be anywhere.
It rotates.

However, the past don't.
It didn't rotate. Rather, made, through a medium called 'Mistake'.

And believe me, I will make this mistake no more.

-Franz

Beautiful people, beautiful people

2009-01-04T22:18:00.002+08:00

I'm about to commit a mortal sin. One of what you read here will be most evident.
Out of the seven (7) deadly sins, which we also call mortal sins, envy will be one.

I've always believed in Beautiful People, Beautiful People.
And what you and I believe in, may be comparable to the sky and the earth, but here's my argument.

Walk along the streets of KL, where you find the trendy sips champagne under moonlight and the poor create noises of coin shakes to fill their ricebowl. Of course, who could argue that there are professionally managed beggars now? One of the reasons why I don't give to any beggar.

Beautiful people, beautiful people.

They never stop amazing me, and why they walk this earth so, gives me a reason to wonder - Have I not such luck to experience these people, will I not have found this deserted side of me which ploughs every now and then for good soil, only to find rotten wool hidden beneath. While I'd only plough the land to look for hidden treasures, have I not found any of this recent; and as every minute past, I curse myself of that melancholic weep I cry on.

Beautiful people, beautiful people.

Have I not been tortured enough as Julius himself, or the refugees of war. Shall I not be in that misery one day as hiding myself underneath a wool will I be, discreetly holding a sharp object to pound over the very first enemy that charges after me. So would I take all the resources I can and fight for my survival. Giving up is never an option.

Like they've always said,
"Ugly people wish for beauty like,
Fishes in the sea wishes to fly."

They deserve to be with beautiful people.
Because they themselves are beautiful as they are.
For I am nothing but a damp cloth in a burnt funnel,
I will soon burn along as the fire picks me up.

-Franz

Is there such a thing?

2009-01-02T23:40:00.000+08:00

The Sperm Community
What do you understand from the title above?

How do you relate people to sperm, and how do they actually live?
As fake as this may sound, there may be a probable solution to find out about how they live, what they do, communicate and react to. Let's first compare humans to sperms.

ANGELIC sperms
They're not sperm-priests or monks, but they're good sperms.
REMPIT sperms
Similar to mat rempits, they ride everywhere and bang everything.
IGUANA sperms
They act as if they're Supermodels; they have bad temper but of great value.
Mother/Father sperms
Like a big brother to everyone, they command actions/directions. Born leaders.
INFLUENCING sperms
They influence people so well that you can take drugs even if you're no drug-user.
BITCHY sperms
You hate them so much that you wish their face is your target practice.
BEST-FRIEND sperms
Seriously, what could you ask for more? An LV bag, that's it.
DISTURBED sperms
They are disturbed in some way, which grosses you but they're fun to be with.
CHEATING sperms
Like the salesman-infidel, they are pain in the ass but absolutely great ~~talkers~~ swimmers.

And why are you so scared to go to the TOTO/4D/5D/6D/3D shops to get a number when something great happens?

Like for example, a youth who's not ready to be a father, got to be a father. His 'minions' or in Hokkien you call "bear-kia" fought one of the hardest thing to fight for - And one got almost too lucky.

He swam hundreds of centimeters, bracing dead cells (like whales in the sea), warm sunny winter (like Hawaii's sun minus the zephyr), dead skin pieces (like ice rocks on the sea) besides competing with MILLIONS or possibly BILLIONS of their own species (crippled or not some, I do not know), to grab the gold, and live for years to come.

Imagine, 1 in BILLIONS. It's like buying a lottery ticket.
Now, who said buying a lottery ticket is bad if your partner is pregnant?

"Can anyone pass me the RED BOOK please?"

-Franz

Wedding Speech

2009-01-02T23:26:00.000+08:00

Inspired by Ooi Seok Theng, the fragile flower.
Wedding Speech
What could be better than getting your buddies to write a wedding speech for you, then read it aloud with full emotions during your W-day?

Not that ANYONE is getting married today, tomorrow or next month. I'm still waiting for the day to see one of my friends walk the walk they've NOT been talking about since ever - Marriage. And their most vulnerable time is of course, this particular period. And the time to strike - Damn it, it's now!

Many people believe that places like churches, chapels or wedding celebrations could be the day where you make it or break it - Emotions flying everywhere, people seeking others, etc - A 'find-a-match' platform which might eventually turn out to be fruitful or, disastrous, somehow. What is your say?

How do I start...

..........................................

And that's how I end.
Fuck, WHO's getting married already??

-Franz

Turning me away from my faith

2009-01-02T15:02:00.000+08:00

Have you ever wondered why I have this "TERMS of USE" thing on my blog? Ever thought of why I stopped letting search engines find my blog and disabled the comment-here feature?

Due to the nature of my dear Malaysian politicians that have created such ruckus in the country positive and negatively, some strive, fought and blabbered hard to fight for my freedom, rights and justice. The true nature of this 'Rakyat' pact makes me feel safe, just like when I'm grabbing someone by their balls.

21 years of age I turned to, a week plus ago.
Much have I seen reports of the media on, off, above and below the line.
Much have I read stories of people in high power abusing them.
Much have I seen jargles of these indoctrine swines push everyone here and there.
Or dictate each and every thing we do.

Don't you have a belief of your own?
What if someone slaps you in the face and say, "Follow, or die." ?

-Franz

Lancap Pakai Olive Oil?

2008-11-29T00:11:00.006+08:00

You cannot imagine what made my day.
After the hustle and bustle from early in the morning until this VERY hour..
I wasn't feeling great.

But something changed it all.
---------------------------------------

You have to click on this and look at the kind of shit I got.

Google actually sent this visitor to me. (or probably some of my posts made G-bot to parse through relevancy of my 'hamsap' karangan(s), served the meta description on the search page that INTERESTS the user, and generated a higher click-through rate enough for him to actually click on the link and come into one of my posts, only to find out he isn't getting what he wanted, and I suspect it's 100% bounce rate. Honestly.)

Dude, if you're here again, and if you're looking for some guides or some porn, I'm sorry, I cannot help you. Also, I don't write dirty karangans to entice people's 'lust' or 'crave' for a fantasy.

Since the day I set my blog to adult mode (which I was then exluded from high indexation results), what happened was there's a uniform rule of (manually unset) meta & title tags that will serve a message saying, "Blogger Content Warning" to the title and description of "Blogger is a free blog publishing tool from Google for easily sharing your thoughts with the world. Blogger makes it simple to post text, photos and video. See the results here. My theory was ABSOLUTELY WRONG.

What I suspect happened THEN, is this:

Blogger sets an 'Adult Content' option where bloggers can select, and have an info page from Google's pages saying that, "Warning, content is not supervised by Google and may be offensive" stuff like that.
For my site, people can read or they can fuck off. I don't care. They don't like it, blog it in their blogs and talk about me; or send hate emails. Seriously, I try my best not to offend anyone, and I've set the terms of use (and also ASKED TO READ THAT FIRST); for reading this blog.
So, I write about things I hear and speak of to other people. Many may contain some sex-related stuff.
So this person who MIGHT be seeking some guide, or try to watch someone do it, or just curious about how people do it, or tries an 'impossible' search on Google to find some content on that, that fella didn't get many results.
Unfortunately, my blog seem to appear there. And since I talk about food.... Which so happen that the relevancy of texts to Google's data-serving rules plus the filters of 'Sandboxes' - LANCAP PAKAI OLIVE OIL seem to match a particular month of these two posts that contain those keywords on a page itself.
But the meta description that appear goes: "Hentaman batangku ke [Gb]punanimu di fikiranku, [Bm]bila ku lancap... D Oh, zhi bai! .... Add your extra virgin olive oil and mix them well, quickly.
I believe then, nobody has blogged about this. Or had it written in Malay. Or indexed by Google to have it served. Or typed it in such arrangement and manner and 'combination' and matching terms.
But Google, which is supposed to serve THIS RESULT, instead, served THAT RESULT, and you can watch the difference.

So, my question now is:
Should this site become a 'masturbate-and-return' porn site?

Should I continue enticing Googlers to come to this site and then keep posting some related or non related porno stuff? From educating to continuous masturbating in front of the computer, watching Jessica Alba's slip(s)?

On the other hand, other searches that found my site include:

Erotika (Erotic)
Faraj Ketat (Tight pussy)
Putus cinta (fall out of love)
Kote panjang (long penis)
Lagu putus cinta (heartbreak songs)
Perogol (rapist)
Aksi seks rambang (random sexual action)
Batangku (my stick)
Butoh panjang (long penis)
Horny liao fuck penis (horny already fuck penis)
Ketat (tight)
Lancap (masturbate)
Malaysia rape
Seks rambang (random sexual acts)
Tetek ku dihisap (My tits were sucked)
What does "muacks" mean
Suami perkasa (extraordinarily strong husband)
Abang gay (Gay brother)
Abang jantan gay (Gay male brother)
Apakah maksud seks (what is the meaning of sex)
Asian erotika (asian erotics)
Batangku dihisap (My rod/stick is sucked)
Big white cock in Malaysia
Bitches do stuff for money
Black bra under transparent white blouse
Blog seks dengan datin (Sex blog with the person with a title "Sir"'s wife)
Brazilian erotika xxx (brazilian erotics xxx)
Breast consultant Malaysia
BUTOH PENDEK (short penis)
CUCUK PUKI (poke pussy)
David Tao (Comment: Oh my God......)
Disunat (circumcised)
And hundreds more...........

Holy SHIT!
What if I start a PORN SITE now?
Support me! =D

Happy Birthday!

2008-11-28T00:01:00.000+08:00

-_-

2008-11-19T20:21:00.002+08:00

I'm starting to lose faith.
Lose faith in so many things.
I think my patience has run dry.

Yet, I have so many obligations and responsibility.
Sigh. When will I have the sight of it again?

-Franz

One of the reasons..

2008-11-19T18:03:00.003+08:00

One of the reasons why I'm shy - Time.

When I was in high school, my teachers use to tell me all the time that time waits for no one. And then some stupid graffiti cum contengan on the wall went like 'Time waits no man'. But the many times I read this thing, it just didn't go into my head. My logic didn't want to to accept because I damn-fuck-kao know I won't practice it.

When they say something like, "Practice what you preach," "God helps those who help themselves" and the infamous "I jump you jump", I get all worked up and feel like I need to punch something. Looking at my condition now, I've been wasting WAY TOO MUCH time and don't know if those TIME WASTED were well worth it.

Let me give you a simple example of what I mean.

Are you not pissed?
I am.

-Franz

Hokkien a Romantic Language?

2008-11-19T09:33:00.004+08:00

I'm speaking of this under the influence of the English language.
I'm English educated, so bear with me for a moment here.

Just last night, I was thinking about random things before I dozed off.
And one thought caught my attention - Can Hokkien be a romantic language?
What if, one day, I speak only Hokkien to my spouse (she can't speak English and Malay)?

It'll be almost too weird for me.
Okay, let's imagine the fun times first.

"Mai ho wa liak lu eh neng liap leng...!"
(Don't let me catch both your busts!)

"Ji le cha bor ah.. Ai si liao ah."
(This girl ah, going to die already ah.)

"A neh kuan pun eh; lu buey hiau ki ho lang kan kah eng.."
(Like that also can, why don't you go let someone fuck?)

The translation is pretty crappy, but I think it's kind of direct.
Furthermore, how would you explain something that we say in Hokkien in English?

Let's take the 'During Sex Scene'. Period - Almost climax.

"Ah.. Ahh... Ahhhh! Pu wa.. Kha meh pu ma... kin kin!!"
(Ah.. Ahh... Ahhhh! Fuck me, faster fuck me... quick!!)

"Wa ai lu ah boui lai... Chak wa eh ah boui.."
(I want you to come from the back.. Penetrate my behind...)

(-_-)"

As much as I wouldn't want to use Hokkien at all during times like this, I'd imagine what would these 'Hokkien-speaking' people half the globe away would say. I believe, they have better command of Hokkien than me, but I can't really think of a way to make it sound right. Probably it's because I'm English-influenced.

Let's say, the mushy, lovey-dovey part.

"Anna, lu si wa eh sim. Wa eh sim, kam kak ho ai lu. Lu cai bor, hamik lan pun mai, ai lu ji kor nia."
(Anna, you are my heart. My heart, loves you. You know, what also don't want, only you.)

"Lu thiao, wa thiao."
(You jump, I jump.)

"Lu hamik pun mm-si che kuoi wa eh ai lang."
(You're nothing more than the love of my life.)

It's so difficult. I couldn't think of any 'nice' loving words and worse still, I cannot translate it to Hokkien. Yes, this may prove that my Hokkien isn't good at all, but on the other hand, what other options do I have rather than just shutting up?

Then again, I thought of Theresa Teng, who died some time ago.
And when I tried "Yue liang dai piao wo de xing" to Hokkien,
I got...

"Ha leh ee ee eh bola ti thi, dai piau wa eh sim."
(That round round ball at the sky, reflects my heart.)

----------------

I need learn how to speak better Hokkien, seriously.

-Franz

Recession is the time of OPPORTUNITY

2008-11-14T17:44:00.006+08:00

Honestly speaking, I've seen many ups and downs of restaurants alike - From little ones to market leaders. And these restaurants are so bundled up in a bubble where it could burst anytime when recession is around, or when a group of people spoil the market. Usually, those who thrive will continue thriving, those who suffered, unfortunately, will suffer even worse or maybe die off.

All these years of listening to our dear Malaysian government nag us about saving money, there are certain usages to these times. Saving your pot of gold for rainy days is a must, and nobody should have a business running without it. Better yet, if you're talking to people in the finance industry, you'll notice that they analyze financial and economical trends way before making a decision on their money.

It has been said that there's a up-down trend in every economy - Like it or not, it's there. Financial analysts or economists will usually send warnings to businesses when they sense something is going wrong. Me indulging into this topic isn't fun - I finally understand how these trends work, how predictions take place and what are the best methods used to counter all of these 'waves'.

All of us know these trends are around - It's just the matter of whether we realize and/or take action, or not.

Why recession is the time of opportunity?

Just like any other businesses, if you're a student, saving up on cash is vital. But what's more important is the will to learn and succeed. Now, many have heard this phrase over and over again, all the fucking time, because everyone seem to be saying it. But no, this is a different story altogether. I'd safely assume that those who heard this usually do not get 90% of it's true meaning.

Being literal to the word "The Will" is no child's play. Many upcoming/new bosses (let's not take into consideration traditional-minded bosses, although they make a large number of the volume) prefer their staff to not work hard, not work smart, but willingly work to succeed. In short, instead of treating you like a dog, they treat you like their kid, their child, their partner.

A company's greatest asset should always be the people, and then down to #2, which would be the product. A strong leader, solid product and great people is the equation to a company's success in many ways.

"During hard times, companies will be seeking for the best way to reduce costs. Therefore, this is the time for students to excel and show their talent - Whether it's skill, personality or mind-control. If you have a gift or feel confident that you can succeed in such manner(s), start proving yourself worthy to these companies NOW."

Determination, passion and sustainability is one - There's always a price tag to it. Students on one hand are always cheaper to maintain and easier to bend. Besides, their creative juices flow like no old man could. When people lose their jobs, it's time to be prepared to strike. When recession worsens, that buys you time.

And as it heals along the way, you shoot for success and grasp glory in the name of your talents and skills. It could prove you absolutely worthy of everyone's time - Yours, your company's and your guardians.

Marketing yourself is the first stage of success, where branding comes into play when we're speaking of starting a new business.

Speak up, students.
Your time is short. Grab your spear and start hunting.

-Franz

The Day That Never Came

2008-11-12T02:00:00.004+08:00

Yet again, another day.
My secrets were all drained and flushed and spiraled up.
Yet another day, without the news.
Yet another day, without your touch.

Do I have to wait another day?
Or do I have to wait forever?

-Franz

Silence.

2008-11-11T19:00:00.002+08:00

All these photos that I've downloaded from my email seem to be truly the source of my strength for a night like this, particularly tonight. As I snuggle into my blanket with wading memories of strange looking faeries, I notice the resemblance of acts: I tense up during moments like this because I can't get hold of what I need most.

As much as any would say I meant sorrow more than joy, I'd argue; this act of snuggling is a formidable excuse, since she was my opium. What more could I ask from the perfect one, when I could've gotten rotten tomatoes in a basket full of fresh fruits. I wake up feeling the disguise thrown all over, a 3-second smirk that waived my frowns away.

The nightly hug would've been tight, as I was hugged to sleep every night. I wasn't able to come close to that because there was something called the 'there will never be a second hand for yourself.' I wasn't thinking sharp enough.

Much would I say its circumstances were torturous.
Although I hope for time to turn back, or looking forward to something new,
I know that above the grounds I'm stepping on,
There's one soul that I would live and die for.

-Franz

Complains, complaints.

2008-11-06T16:33:00.003+08:00

Referring to my previous post:
Men & Leaders, I promised that I'll complete the post.

Don't take me for granted: People complain too much.
Even I do so, but I try to minimize my complains and embrace God instead.
At night, if you ever catch me talking to someone on the bed with nobody beside me, it's definitely God I'm speaking to.

Over a year has passed since I moved to KL, and many things never change since. Yes, there are some drastic ones like my weight and character. Fortunately for many, they still do not see the true ME, as I always example out my best criteria and forgo good concepts.

When I was busy finishing my work last night, someone PM'ed me on MSN Messenger, asking for help. Without doubt, I immediately accepted and took on whatever challenge I'm about to be served. Fortunately enough for me, it's within my means - Food.

She ask me a simple question: Is this right, or wrong? I didn't deny her writings, but I pointed out that people would be much more interested being served THOSE KIND OF content, instead of this. Although I made it clear indirectly that it wasn't all that bad, I told her that these texts could be used for advertisements or endorsements of such.

Later to only know that her 'HELP' was to actually ask me to RE-WRITE everything for her so that she do not have to go through the hassle of changing each and every wrong piece.

Franz, being Franz, said NO.

-------------
Of course, this has nothing to do with complains.
And I wouldn't complain about this petty issue, or look at her in a different way now that I know what is she looking for. A friend being a friend, I can only help THIS much.

And to my judgments, if I feel that helping you out will only make you WORSE in the future, I'll decline. It's not that I'm not being helpful, or I'm judging anyone. It does not make sense to NOT LEARN and just flow it out.
-------------

On the issue of relationships, complaining is a good way of giving yourself another chance to try, or showing your concerns over any matters raised. People look at it as if complains are only bad and never something to learn from. And as we continue to fall every now and then; we're indirectly learning how to not make any more mistakes.

The moment we stop negative thoughts which equates in disastrous structuring of outcomes, we'll learn how to handle things in a better manner. Logic over emotions.

And when you can smile at the devil, you've won three quarters of the battle.

-Franz

The Sweet Spot

2008-11-06T16:31:00.001+08:00

We really should be looking at our sweet spot - Let it be or not it's functional.
Unfortunately it's deemed as a crime against G-Spots.

Men & Leaders

2008-11-02T18:25:00.002+08:00

No, this post do not incarcerate racism, sexism or religiosity.
I read the newspaper today.

And looking at a bunch of our fellow politicians in Malaysia, I sometimes frown to myself and try my best to put myself in their shoes - Understand their agony, pain, torturous activities, greed, wrath, gluttony, sloth, envy and pride.

Everyone has these characteristics, and this is what made men, and what made life.

What happens when, our political leaders have:
ALL OF THESE TRAITS?

I wouldn't worry that much, though. I'd be more worried if they're politically insane.
They are just being normal human beings.

And as I've explained to some people over the months of me realizing -this- particular fact which I'm going to explain it to you in a while, you'd be surprised that many shook their head in disbelief of these traits they're following, some just realized and some agreed.

Traits of our beliefs, ambitions, character, decisions and proclamations can be divided into two:

Emotionally.
Logically.

Unfortunately for the greater population in this world, many of us ARE more likely to be emotionally pounded over THAN logically stepped over. To a certain extent, it's good and also vice versa. Fortunately enough for us humans who are living in the realm of life have this thing called the:

YES; and
NO

...kind of elements. To make you further understand my statements:

It could be good to be emotionally controlled in certain situations.
And also it could be good to be logically controlled in certain situations.

We're talking about the control of our minds here.

And whenever I read the news in any paper at all (predominantly The Star), I notice that our fellow politicians are usually emotionally controlled. Their emotions could skyrocket and spin like a merry-go-round that creative ideas comes into play, thus influencing them to make certain decisions which could be disastrous to the Rakyat, sometimes.

Let me give you an example:
"Mr. X wasn't here in the Parliament today to GRILL Mr. Y, and Mr. Z said, "If you think I don't know X even though I'm in the Parliament, then let the Prime Minister know so that he could sack me. (Something like that, although I cannot fully remember the words)."

It'll be EXTREMELY shameful for me if I were to make a statement to the press challenging my opposition in a very immature manner. Even under heavy stress, I'd always try to control the situation and take control of whatever mandate that's assigned to me, or whichever I'm responsible of.

---------

Just lately, I've been realizing what people always do:

Complain,
Complain-1,
Complain-2,
Complain-3,
Complain-4,
Complain-5,
...and so forth.

No action taken.

Wait for my next post to appear - It should give you a more detailed explanation of how to rectify this problem.

-Franz

This sense of purity

2008-11-02T16:09:00.002+08:00

Out of all my senses, I think I trust my brains the most.
Which you could probably call it sixth sense.
Or what you can say,

"EVERYONE HAS SIXTH SENSE, it's just that they DO NOT use it."

I sense history is going to repeat itself now, judging by the situation in which I had felt a few days back. Not to take the toll on anyone, but this is like the best time to get something moving.

While back then I've always tried very hard, I know my young mind could take it.
But for now, I don't think so.

I hate programming.
Really do.

-Franz

October 28th, 2005

2008-11-01T17:40:00.004+08:00

It did make more sense when I remembered.
October 28th, the date of my first prom.

And on the other night, I was blown away by a girl who I couldn't keep my eyes off.
And until today, the sight of it remains.
Fortunately, we spent the evening and next day together in 2005.

Although I did remember everyone (especially Gooi) saying that I got a girlfriend out of prom night, I'd still say the best of it still came from the days where I made my decision based on a boat.

I don't know if I've told anyone about it or blogged about this thing (as I'm too lazy to search for the post), I've decided to write it down so that I could remember.

----
It was after prom, and Venz brought all of us back to Gurney hotel, seeing that they wanted to spend the night there. And all of us split for the room. It seems that I didn't want to stay in the hotel room, so I decided to help Cherlyn (herein referred to as 'Berry') get a thousand hair clips off her hair (which she got it done and until today, I still think it's messed up), and changed. Then we went out for a walk.

Surprisingly, that more than 3km stretch of walk didn't feel a thing. My legs wasn't even feeling tired. We had so much to talk, ask and say to each other, that the stretch from Gurney hotel (Chillout area) to Gurney plaza, and then took the big round from the main road into Gurney plaza, then walking out from its back door to Gurney hotel.

That's one hell of a walk and if you were to ask me to do it then, I'd probably ask you to fuck off. As lazy as I was back then, I didn't realize that my brains were actually trying to fool me into getting in more fuel than burning them off.

So it was already October 29th, and we sat down on the pavement halfway between Gurney hotel and Gurney plaza, facing the sea. I remembered at that time, there was still no tsunami and things were looking pretty great. The sea was nice and all breezy, the water splashes on the stone nonchalantly, and sights of Gurney drive was just fantastic.

As we were sitting down and chatting, I saw two boats. At that time, it was almost 3, I think. These boats have the same amount of lights coming into my eyes, until I thought they were identical or something. As I decided to make a move on Berry, I also realized that I was too shy to do or say anything. I decided to leave it up to God.

I told Him, "Show me a sign. If that left boat moves away from the right boat FIRST, then it's a yes. If the right boat moves away first, then I won't do a thing."

Fortunately enough for me, the left boat moved first.

I panicked, and didn't know what to do.
What do you expect from someone who's so fucking shy to do?

Eventually, I switched positions from facing the sea to now facing Gurney drive. Berry did the same a little while later, and I said, "My ass hurts. Feels like I need to walk. Let's go over there."

And when she agreed to move, I held her hand.

----

Seemed like a little while ago, but it'll be great to be able to tell my grandchildren these, and leave them to imagine what happened next later on in life if they don't see Berry herself with me when I'm 60 or so.

Although it could be less pretty as compared to Romeo and Juliet, I bet it was one of the most memorable ever.

-Franz

November 1st

2008-11-01T17:02:00.001+08:00

Spending Saturdays on my trunk isn't much like what I've anticipated. I would've expected it to be better, but sometimes I'll just have to eat it up and stop complaining.

Looking at the reports I have to file and tons of catching up I needed, it suddenly hit me that I needed a break, not at least when the break I'd get is something like jamming over at my shoes.

Although it seemed learning Spanish would be much better, I'd pass on it because I'm living it on, whether anyone likes it or not. And if you have a problem with that, then screw you.

-Franz

Hmm..

2008-10-31T22:07:00.002+08:00

Today was supposed to be the day I attended a Halloween Party in HELP college with Pingy.
Unfortunately, she had some other plans and decided to call it off, at least for me.

I was looking forward to this day.
Never actually did attend a Halloween Party with funny suits before.
In fact, what I had in mind was to be a Mamak Guy, wearing a sarong, white T-shirt and surprisingly, a sports shoe. Oh, and I forgot, a custom-made turban which I made.

Since I couldn't make it there today, I decided to work on some of my projects which I left off last week and finish off some important things for work.

It couldn't be any worse, when I had this gut feeling that I need to burn some fats.
So I decided to climb the stairs up and down twice to at least do some exercise.
When I finished (which took me less than 10 minutes of two rounds - 6 floors, half sprinting), I came back with a tired leg and my eyes darkened on me a little.

This is a bad sign.
A sign that I NEED SOME WORKOUT.

Tomorrow morning, I'll be jogging around my area.

On the other hand, Sze, my long lost penpal emailed me.
I was half surprised and half shocked, but eventually it turned out that I've missed out a lot on life.

At least it wasn't so bad.
Got me off my mind a little.

-Franz

The Justification

2008-10-31T00:14:00.003+08:00

My mind tells me, "Let it go."
And my body tells me, "Screw you, coward."

FATE.
How is it even decided? By rolling a ball? It wouldn't be called fate, then. It'll be a game of chance. Yet, that game of chance could be the post-happening of fate. When it's decided, the dice will roll that way. That's if you decide to roll the dice. What if you take the dice and lay it on the table, showing what number you'd want? Yet again, fate could also determine what happened before, and what will happen now.

A great example for you to better understand:
"Knowing if someone's a virgin or not."

It's all in your head.
Anyone can lie their way out.

DECISIONS.
You decide what's next. The ball is on your hands. You can throw it anywhere. What happens next is the result of another person's doings. How can you call it fate when in the other party's world, it's just him making decisions and make it turn out as to the way he wants it? If it's fate you're speaking of, then he's making his own fate, not a decided fate which is written down. All the worse if you bring it upfront, as it may change drastically.

No examples.

A nightingale's chirping

2008-10-30T23:49:00.005+08:00

O' Saxon; o' Baron; o' Light
For whose you delegate two positions in, take a deep breath..

Amidst the battle, there rise a soldier; lieutenant by rank, lover by heart, father by soul and member in a family; shot 15 times on the head, 10 thrusts of a sharp sword and a bang of mace to the neck.

Bounded in captivity, Lieutenant Ryan didn't push. Calculating the risk it would take for him to sneak out there free would be more than disastrous - Maybe slow death. In the cage he stayed, lying on his back to the metal grill; with his wounds exposed and pain haunting him so. Relentlessly, he fought with all his might and the will to survive carries him forward yet another second.

With no reason to live for anymore, Ryan held his breath deep, exhales it only when a bomb blast took 5 seconds off its grace period. Trapped in a living hell, without being able to save himself from the mortars, there was no escape; no choice. Luck was his greater reliance, yet he summoned a greater logical justification above all - The believe.

---

When we're bounded by insecurity, our negative notorious messages might not strike logic - As we're headed somewhere we don't want to be. Such events lead to much distraught later in life, whether or not it's regrettable.

I once thought to myself, "Why would I want to live the easy way, when I know the excitement is at this winding road that I can choose to take?"

Fate didn't smile on me. I know I don't believe in it, and there are many occasions to where blaming fate isn't justifiable, not at least in logical terms.

Next week is the day I sign the contract, and two weeks later is my judgement day.
Read the next post to find out how I separate both these terms.

The Day in Reniss

2008-10-30T11:17:00.001+08:00

It was about time I did something nice for someone. Unfortunately nothing turned out well, so I'd give this thing to the world to see. Nothing fancy, really. You know who you are. ;-)

A twinkly, sparkling, hazard

2008-10-29T22:40:00.003+08:00

I frown at the sight of a Chinois.

But all the more, never doubted its credibility.

What could be worse, it's stance.

Franz's Methodology

2008-10-29T21:25:00.003+08:00

I know I've written about this four characters before.
The Clown, Crow, Concubine and Chinois.

Little did I realize that what I've written in 2006,

Was a great example of ALL the people I've met in my lifetime.

Read the last post.

The Clown

Beneath any guts I've trampled over,

None could shadow two faces of despair below a rainbow,

Was a troll to take an umbrella;

Or were you not cut to be in the game?

The Crow

A teardrop which knows no end to its fall,

A raindrop which wets no earth to its fall,

Could only mean a difference if there was sugar in dough,

And clouds in the sky.

The Concubine

Voilà, voilà, here's your soup bowl,

Eat your pecans and plough the earth,

For the earth shines no more snow,

Likely to be the it of your sorrow.

The Chinois

Every step of the moment stems into an endless vault,

For no man on earth drink as much water as a fish does in a moment's grace,

Should it be moved on, I plead no responsibility,

Should it stay, I care for it upmost.

Letter to Self: Can you bite the cake?

2008-10-29T21:12:00.002+08:00

Dear Self,

Haven't you noticed that you've been taking hits that may not be suitable for your ownself at the moment? Running four jobs in a go isn't going to help much with your fatigue. In the long run, with the amount of cigarettes you're smoking now and least amount of hours you've been in wonderland, you're going to bust your liver just like what Mom use to say.

While I do not have any scientific proof saying that not enough sleep busts your liver, I do know not it hinders a lot of your brain cells from exploding ideas through your daily work. Your fatigue level is growing each day, and you'll eventually get lazier. No, this would not be a fucking burn-out, it'll be more of a train of disgust banging onto you, asking you to go fly kites.

Of all the horrors you see on TV or on the Internet (which you spend most of your time on), don't you also know the seriousness of spending too much? Yes, cars explode and Superman flies on TV, but not you. Not at least your pocket. You should not have any financial dependance on the basic, and you shouldn't run your life without having much to save for rainy days.

What about the people you once abandon for your cheating ex? Don't you feel even more cheated? They've given up their best to acknowledge your existence and treated you as one of their buddies, but you ignore them hoping that you'd not make the wrong choice. Well you did. You made the wrong turn and you're paying for it now. Think it'll be back like normal? Forget about it.

And your career. Aren't you supposed to be busting your ass in the kitchen preparing salmon steaks and ricotta paella for your guests of honor? What happened to Idelinq? Is that billing three times in a year which makes you not pay any tax gives you the advantage over others and would last you for the next 50 years of your life? How pathetic!

The last thing you'd want to know is that you're screwing yourself over.

Get it over and done with.

Open up your fucking eyes.

You're no 3-year-old.

Think about your friends who made it to universities.

---------------

Hi Self,

Do you not take into consideration the walks and price to pay to achieve something that you could only dream of? After that day, I got a certain torch of hope that could at least light my path for the next month.

Because if I didn't, I know I tried my best.

Because if I did, I know she didn't try her best.

And for what reason should a man be torn apart by just thoughts alone?

That would make him an irresponsible person.

Two thumbs down, now three

2008-10-29T21:09:00.001+08:00

I decided not to take my cigarette down from the car today. My car is parked 4 levels above, and I don't think I'll be hardworking enough to go get it now. I'd probably sleep the urge off or something.

Finishing the series and looking at the last episode of the season towards the end, my mind went far. As flowery or dramatic you may think it is, you may just be right. Although it couldn't be more dramatic than ever (or at least I perceive it that way), things have been pretty uninteresting for me to the point where I could bow down and ask for help.

Asking for help isn't one of my traits, and I'm glad I didn't go that way.

Posting up an album which could spark a lot of attention wasn't my motive at all. In just an hour or so, I got two replies and they weren't very favorable - Or at least how I wanted it to be.

Lamenting on the past makes me feel irk-y. I know complaining could annoy the hell out of people and getting out of that comfort zone I'm in isn't going to help me much with the things I've always wanted. Turns out to be, some of the things I did out of my comfort zone did took me out of a misery, but that turned its back on me and I was screwed over, yet again.

I didn't take down my cigarettes from the car, again for another day.
Although it could be a good sign that I'm trying hard to resist, being touched by a cold night isn't.

While I'd feel my throat and lungs are kind of failing on me, things didn't really get much better than that. I know the possibilities of me getting hyped up about certain things, so does getting screwed over by others.

Lamenting on the past didn't help much with my mood - In fact, it could just make things worse. That's why for some reason I didn't. Running away from your comfort zone seems harder than words could speak, but this action wasn't hard. It was all in my head. Posting up an album on Facebook which I know could tinkle attention I didn't want proved itself to be a mistake of its own. Within hours, I got two simple messages and a sighing brain.

Like many days in my life, I'd describe rare occasions to be one of the simplest yet memorable events. My topics couldn't go far - I was merely speaking of the same things. Yet, the days went by and I marked Deepavali 2008 to be one of the rarest, ever.

If you were to say my life is full with drama that I didn't speak of, you might just be right. If you perceived vice versa, you might be right, too. Speaking of which, I didn't really feel that the things I go through in life is one whole big drama that I could document and make a movie out of it or watch it in heaven/hell on TV when I'm dead.

Dreadfully enough, swaying didn't help much. It was honesty that did.

Like all the people around us that we know, that we speak to, work with, love, care for, etc, if we look into ourselves closer and stop thinking that we know ourselves best, many of us can justify that a lot of us are in a state of denial. Even me. And I overwhelmed that statement, overridden that justification and calamity struck.

Needless to say, all I wanted was to further understand, and wait for luck to strike so that I can get my chance. Fortunately enough for me, that rare occasion did spark a twinkle in my daily hours for a while. To the extend of being blinded to whatever I do, hear, see, touch, feel and taste.

I'm not so much of a complainer if you do know me well, and I've been trying to rationalize better in the future or rather now, since I've nothing much to lose. My stomach tells me a different story though.

Two thumbs down before, now three.
How would I sleep tonight without knowing the fact that; THAT was a night WITHOUT cake?

Pieces of the puzzle start to connect, and all the holes are mending itself well. It's pure logic.

"I hope this don't die."
In business terms, that means be an asset, and be a lucrative asset.

Through an example of..

2008-10-26T15:06:00.002+08:00

The feeling of being cheated on isn't fun - What more the absolute serenity you get from it after you've bitch-fucked the problem.

I lived my life forgiving people over and over again, smile whenever bad things happen to me, stood up against what's bad and analyze unnecessary risks to avoid them, and I don't know anymore if this is ever going anywhere.

The one thing that I've longed for never did come, or not at least to now.

And should it come soon enough, I'll be damned.

And the olden days

2008-10-20T11:35:00.000+08:00

I wanted to take pictures of my old stuff to put it up here, so that anyone below my generation can view it at ease. I think Google isn't going to crash anytime soon, provided the advertising industry is wiped off the face of the earth.

Unfortunately, I didn't.

And of all the things that I've been through until today, I don't seem to see why I should even think of committing suicide at my worst time - Or anyone for that matter.

And for someone who asked me this question:

"Franz, how do I be a good GF?"

My reply was:

"Learn how to be a good person."

I think by doing that, you cover a greater range of 'good' than being focused in a particular industry, which I would address as your partner.

-Franz

The Vampire in Malaysian?

2008-10-19T23:53:00.001+08:00

And yeah:

This video is excellent.

No, seriously. The dancing is very good.

The translation made it look funny though.

"Kasi Murah Kalkulator Encik Tabo"

Might and Mighty - Just like it

2008-10-19T23:41:00.002+08:00

There is a difference between these two terms:

Absolute
Realistic

And for you to understand better:

The law is ABSOLUTE.
Our doings are REALISTIC.

No, OBSOLETE isn't the term.

Maybe you can check this here to confirm.

-Franz

Olden Crashes

2008-10-19T23:28:00.002+08:00

I wonder where all the oldies get their fashion.

And I wonder how did they manage to fly from colorful, flashy and sparkling to sleek, clean and simple designs you see today.

A great example pertaining these ideas I'm talking about above:

Or maybe not too soft...

Weird I know, but before I was born, my mother seem to be like Elton John (in terms of fashion) and my dad is the afro-king.

And their son today?

The beggar-like cum messy fashion:
GRUNGE.

-Franz

Benny Lava

2008-09-10T17:57:00.002+08:00

When you're in need of Benny Lava,
This is what you get -

"The Nuns are GAY."

Do you smell your own armpit?

2008-08-17T14:42:00.001+08:00

It's true -- Many people do smell their own armpits.
Not that I'd like to ADMIT I do smell my own armpit.

Hey, I do sometimes, to be honest. Not to the extend of LOVING it.
Here's something for you to try today.

Discussion: Testaments for Ignorance & Unprofessionalism

2008-08-04T15:41:00.013+08:00

Please Read the Website's TERMS OF USE before proceeding.

20 MARCH, 2006
REPUBLISHED ISSUE - "A PRIVATE DIARY"
Testaments for Ignorance and Unprofessionalism
In the ideal world, many leaders dream of a certain gift they've long hoped for - A blessing of sweat and blood they've poured in the past. But what catches up is when POOR QUALITY OF LEADERSHIP influenced human behaviors - How are they outlined and defined by educational leaders in Penang?

"La crème de la crème"
As we describe our leaders in the Educational Board in any institution. The success of Lee Kuan Yew brought us all to a better understanding of Education when it comes to dealing with failure to success as he quoted:

"I am often accused of interfering in the private lives of citizens. Yet, if I did not, had I not done that, we wouldn't be here today. And I say without the slightest remorse, that we wouldn't be here, we would not have made economic progress, if we had not intervened on very personal matters - who your neighbor is, how you live, the noise you make, how you spit, or what language you use."

Lee Kuan Yew, as quoted by a trusted news syndication post.

Historically, his leadership brought a logic to many of us today - A leader whom by all means devote his life for the betterment of the society; present and future. Failures sought him but all bow down to his heels when he boomed the 'WOW' factor into the act of failure itself - In short, never die on failure by itself. And see where is Singapore today.

As we move along in this modern world where society is being harsh, life is being tough, transparency is mandatory; a pattern and chain of framework form in automatically in the community - Marking the rapid growth of a society. By all means, those who are in favor of the ever-growing fast-paced technology will strike a blow and pitch further - While those who are lacking behind occasionally be wiped off the field in a very, very soft manner.

Corporates in Malaysia has seen diligence from a piece of compulsive nature the younger generation has to offer - A Change. Bits of information transited in a more meaningful manner - A statuary chain of concepts no more; a framework of creative ideas dug in: Successful rambles which will gain awareness. That's where trains of thoughts come in.

Problems usually arise when a particular entity is left behind in a specific time-frame - A tip of the iceberg so small that in an educational organisation fail to interpret, identify and conform to. Threats of the society rose in large of tactical lawsuits practically designed to frame oneself. And in a suburb idea of thoughts, a wrongful practice is performed, shame has endangered oneself: It's a cruel world we live in.

The Story by Hev-Tyler
"Defects of a Georgetown-Educational Institution"

Published recently by a ghostwriter nicknamed Hev-Tyler, he depicts jurisdiction of a leader towards an incompetent individual of his own: Bearing the rights to educate in an educational organisation. A certain leader of this context brought contempt to the Malaysian Law right above his ladder of understanding - Neither inhumane nor unprofessional to quote a statutory undefined, least clarified and solid.

Traditional methods of exampled caning and humiliation has lived far passed its lifespan - The modern world takes no more of such acts. The flawed educational organisation looks on the surface, into an act of only one particular individual, while the case brings in a statutory; highlighting major concerns:

Law of Malaysia: Act 286, Defamation Act 1957
And in either case that the publisher exercised all reasonable care in relation to the publication; and any reference in this subsection to the publisher shall be construed as including a reference to any servant or agent of his who was concerned with the contents of
the publication.

Paragraph 8(5)(a)
That the publisher did not intend to publish them of and concerning that other person, and did not know of circumstances by virtue of which they might be understood to refer to him; or
Paragraph 8(5)(b)
that the words were not defamatory on the face of them, and the publisher did not know of circumstances by virtue of which they might be understood to be defamatory of that other person.

Paragraph 8(6)
Paragraph 7(1)(b) shall not apply in relation to the publication by any person of words of which he is not the author unless he proves that the words were written by the author without malice.

Paragraph 7(1)
A person who has published words accused to be defamatory of another person may, if he claims that the words were published by him innocently in relation to that other person, make an offer of amends under this section; and in any such case—

Paragraph 7(1)(b)
if the offer is not accepted by the party aggrieved, then, except as otherwise provided by this section, it shall be a defence, in any proceedings by him for libel or slander against the person making the offer in respect of the
publication in question, to prove that the words complained of were published by the defendant or were published by the defendant innocently in relation to the plaintiff and that the offer was made as soon as practicable after the
defendant received notice that they were or might be defamatory of the plaintiff, and has not been withdrawn.

The cost of damage was reduced when a particular individual under certain circumstances ought to not further slander in innocence - Not entirely engaging in a public apology in high-level act of defamatory but in a level where educational organisations see it where education is NOT vital, threatens' of baseless thoughts are acceptable verbally.

Posing as an advanced educational institution with high merits and credits of various international organisations, mistakes are best avoided. Therefore, a proposed solution has been developed:

In events of Shameful Slanders
Where an educational institution patrons' practice a particular discussion topic solely institutes the need to expressively condone out in anger - Immaturity in child-like minds can lead to certain degree or damage but prior to contempt, necessary education should be plainly expressed beforehand.
In events of Institutional Systems of Educational Development Flaws
Whereby the accused are bound to be nurtured, educated, implied on Life's Lessons, shared on a private one-on-one consultation basing education, punishable acts performed to mental stress in an educating way, then, as a last resort, take a step further to succeed in school time punishable act - Three (3) warning letters and fourth offense results a dismissal prior to (A) Parent notice, consent and acknowledgment of such act by the individual after performing consultation with the group (B) Confirmation of dismissal prior to Local Educational Authority's approval and consent.
In events of Corruptible or Disability to perform Professional Assignments
Whereby the accused is bound to be brought into a certain understanding of the assignment scope at a professional level -- A formal advise by any particular direct superior before handing over the case to a higher level of management. Systematized roles and responsibilities carried out without baseless accusations and allegations against the accused. Should there be no compromising solution to the problem, the board will, by all means, issue a formal notification of warning. The last resort should only be undertaken to an extend where the accused PERFORM ACTIVITIES of ACCUSED more than three (3) times consequently, with formal warnings presented and consented.
In event of Public Dismissal: High-level Slanders and Defamatory
Whereby a proven track of record where the accused repeatedly in levels practice activities of public dismissal and high-level slanders/defamatory. The accused should be consulted in a way where (2) and (3) is concerned.

The level of perception in areas where professionals are bound to be properly systemized and is ACCREDITED by appropriate educational institutes are still low. In the modern world, professionals today obtain necessary paper-based qualifications without even abiding by the system reorganised, refined, re-reviewed, and of such by many accredited organisations around in the industry.

As a base of example where PRINCE2 has 150 organisations backing its accuracy, information and quality of methodology itself, there are minimal flaws (or so to speak of). And to a certain public understanding, accredited organisations (especially educational organisations) should abide no less than any systematized ruling present in a particular industry; providing education to the public.

As flawed as systems may be, due to factors surrounding the diverse laws of nature, a leader SHOULD:

In any parts thereof, provide opportunities of individuals practicing in a particular educational institution a chance to differentiate solid factual punishables and humane, educational teaching methods.
Suggest, advise and provide methods of improvement prior to the conduct of any Lawful acts - Which in return benefits the educational institution and the accused in a humane way.
Look into corrective ways and solutions by discussing with the board issues arising and conflicts to be presented in the educational institution's system. Implementation happens after a solution has been found, that the director(s) agree in the case where the selected solution(s) are beneficial to both insitutional patrons and the education institute itself.
Accomodate, hence partake in the improvement of processes, and/or systems implemented in the educational institution by accepting views, measuring viability, relevancy and ability to consider and/or perform such acts.
Set a tolerance level; hence to define tolerance to testaments where implementation of Standard Operating Procedures (SOP) are clearly defined in a contractual, public basis to provide a deeper understanding to educational institute patrons and/or prospect patrons of the laws, regulations and of such practices are deemed MALICE, aware or not aware of.
Judge and handle problems with a professional etiquette, clearly identify problems and define solutions based on understandable grounds - Sole, baseless criticism which leads to more slander and unappraised acts WHEN PROVEN GUILTY will result in a shameful influence of BRAND.
Handle stress and bad press by creating solutions to create better grounds; to untap the bad press and release a certain influence and/or public perception where damage done to a brand is minimal.
Express disclaimers, disclosures, rules and regulations, unavoidable act of unfaithful practices and malice (SOP - See point 5) viewable, understandable, and reachable in any means without patrons' or prospect patrons' requesting for any.
Adapt to Lee Kuan Yew principles. (See above quote)
Provide training grounds for individuals representating the educational institution, but not limited to patrons and the general public to create awareness and indemnify flaws in the systems.

As an educational institution, organisation or entity in the EDUCATION industry, dynamic individuals should be taking precautionary steps to ensure that QUALITY-driven leaders are performing at peak capacity is considered. Relying on an immature, outdated, and illogical school of thoughts will bring no value to the educational institution, let alone to manage and CREATE MANDATES and/or directions for the educational institution.

Dealing with the youth today bring much complicatedness, as to the moving trend allows no room for failures, let alone an assesment of immature school of thoughts presented so nonchalantly to patrons of educational institutions. Of what wrath and shame could the Director of an Educational Insitution be brought forth a set of unsystamatized flaws in the institution, let alone handle critical processes in an unprofessional manner.

The world needs more dynamic and critical thinking leaders to lead the path of us Malaysians, let alone, Penangites. If in any way, our management system, ESPECIALLY for educational institutions, fail to perform appropriately to guide and light a path to upcoming leaders, what are we of in the next 10 years?

Kote Malaysia vs Kote Belanda

2008-08-03T00:22:00.003+08:00

Says who all orang belanda has MONSTER kote?
Not all of them. Seriously. Even niggas. (Thanks Wai Kit for the information).

Let's look at the chart here below...

Let me explain the chart.

Cock Size Comparisons
Malaysia vs Belanda

Different societies have their different sizes. Seriously, Asian cocks are generally smaller by 'default', and we just have to accept the fact that cock pumps are a must -- I'm not saying all Asian cocks are small but rather they are still smaller as compared to those of their same 'origins' or 'gene' or whatever you call it.

Well let's take bar no. 1 as Gooi's cock.
And compare it with bar no 7, which is Franz's cock.

Look at the BIG DIFFERENCE!

=D

Term Revision: BITCH & Language

2008-07-31T18:33:00.000+08:00

How well do we know the word 'BITCH'?
Assuming that any of you who'd read this understands English well enough to know what 'bitch' means, or at least fluent enough to know, I'd like to highlight a few points here.

When I was younger, I use to hear this all the time. Young or old, skinny or fat, rich or poor, male or female, manly or sissy, gay or lesbian (damn, this term is already wrong), cat or dog, alien or human -- We use the word 'bitch' (or be a bitch) excessively in our daily lives that we might just not notice.

To give you an example of what I meant by Old-School 'Bitch' Term:

Babe In Total Control (of) Herself.

There, old school! Phew.

Being nice to people/things does not necessarily mean someone's not being a bitch. And people's imagination differ from culture to lifestyle. Up to their shoes (they may call it a bitch), if something goes wrong. They'll probably be like..

"FUCK this BITCH. (note that there is no comma after the word 'Fuck') Two days and the shoe is torn?!"

While Princeton refer bitch to many understandable terms (of people using it), it's as flexible as fuck, but not one small bit as humorous as the word "Fuck". People seem to be offended by rude words, though. My little piece of advise -- It's like when someone crosses your path.

"You little BITCH!"

Again, I'm only using the word bitch as a noun - As a comparison/referral to a particular someone/thing that I don't like. Ali G (the show) made very good use of the word Bitch.

(ALI) --------Car Windshield--------- (MA BITCH)

Anyway, let's see how PRINCETON describe the term bitch.

An unpleasant difficulty. (That bitch is a REAL BITCH!)
Cunt (literally means vagina): A person (You bitch!)
gripe (literally means objecting): complain (I wanna grind that bitch-ass bitch 'cause she's so LAMMMMMMEEE)
gripe: informal (Let's bitch about this two-cunt-bitch place, shall we?)
backbite: rude language (Son-of-a-bitch! That bitch's gonna get Bitch-mom's bitchy bitching!)
FEMALE DOG.

Why does Female Dog comes last?

Let's identify the different types of usage for the term 'Bitch'.

Bitch: That girl is a real bitch.
Bitch: Lame-ass bitch.
Bitch: She squeals like a bitch.
Bitch-ing: Let's start bitching about Yew Kong - Gooi scandal.
Bitch-ing: I'm bitching the bitch! Woohoo!
Bitch-ful: Two bitches walking along the sea and a bitch-ful pair of shorts.
Bitch-y: She's so bitchy.
Bitch-ass: That bitch-ass old man better get his hands of my boobs!
Bitch-ass: Bitch-ass son of a gun. How could life be ever simpler?
Bitch-iness: What a load of crap; and bitchiness.
Bitch-er: What a bitcher.
Bitch-ily: Bitchily bitch. As bitchy as ever.
Two-bitches: I don't give two -bitches about Gooi's scandal with Yew Kong.
Bitch-es: A group of bitches! How fun!
Bitch-iest: Gooi's the bitchiest of them all.
Bitch-er: Look, Franz is the bitcher, and Gooi is the bitchee.
Bitch-ee: Oh like mother like daughter, bitcher and bitchee.
Bitch-off: Bitch-off, bitch.
Bitch-on: Go on! Bitch-on about Gooi-YewKong scandal!
Bitch-X: Your boyfriend's bitch-X is small. He cheated on you. Ha-ha.

And tons of more examples.

I'd always advise people to use terms correctly, as we can see in Bahasa. Many of those terms above do not exist in English (or I'm not aware of). Just like Bahasa Melayu, where we can actually 'BORROW' an English term and 'MEMPERBAHASA-MELAYUkan' it; and as we use it often, compelling enough. Damn. You're the founder. Let's take for example:

Crony: Kroni (Kronikal - Chronical)
Duplicate: Salinan (Duplikasi)
Temptation: Godaan (Temtasi)
Relax: Beristirehat (Relaks)

Weird enough, although Philippines was under the Spanish rule for over a century, Tagalog, in Mark's words are very similar but often not mixed this way. I don't know for sure as this is just one person's perspective.

And the thing about Bahasa Melayu is that it's a funnier version of language, not as funny as Le Banane, but it's as funny as Fuck: Bersetubuh (KONKIET).

And it'll be funnier if you put it in sentence, slap in a heavy Bahasa Melayu slang, and give it a superb go for gold:

"Wei.. jangan lah duk buat best... kan aku tempang-ang... mampui dikonket ayam berbulu buret!"

-Franz

When TAIWAN meets HIP-HOP

2008-07-30T19:54:00.000+08:00

Greetings earthlings,
Today, I'd like to speak on behalf of my devil, named "Brandon Erect".
You see, Mr. Erect has a kind of tingling effect when he meets Hip-hop. Not to condemn hip-hop music in any way, but he dislikes the rhythm, and do not know how to appreciate such music.

And the other day when Brandon visited the KARAOKE because his friend is throwing a bash for his birthday, he felt: "Fuck, what's so wrong being in REDBOX? Not like you can do better than them..". And so he went. For the sake of his friend, too. But the thing is, when things that are sensitive to him strike his humble yet fragile soul, his 'devils' unleash. And when anger is integrated with a lil humor, everything will be much better. And so...

"The days I spent rambling about inaccuracy comes this way,"

Jay Chou shouldn't be in a cowboy suit. EVER.
Lee Hom's SEX SCANDAL is yet to come. Seriously.
Jing Tian Ni Yao Jia Gei Wo - (DT in the house... Jolin in the house... Our love's in the house...) ---- Yeah, my cock's in your ASS.
Now ENERGY is out of the house!
SHE - Superstar. Look at how they integrate the climax version of ALTERNATIVE rock and water spraying (with blocking that goes like, "Ahhhh!! Don't spray water on me!").
F4 and their ever so gay hairstyle + pattern. At least Aaron Kwok and Jacky Chan grew out of it. Now they're JVKV. FYI, IMO, Vanness is a girl's name. Seriously. Let's rename my name BRANDON ERECT as Flower Pussy Hard-on!
Awwwwwwwwwwwwww SO CUTE.. Is that a baby bottle? Oh btw, this is 5566.
Oh SOMEBODY felt my pain. SOMEONE made a GAY THEME out of Taiwanese stars.
Chicken RUN!!!!

Ok, anyway, stop the cock. Let's go back to the Author of This Blog.

The Author
You see, we're getting off topic. Instead of talking about the integration between Taiwan and Hip-hop, we went to something even called the NUDE Fest run. That will be on the next post.

What am I talking about?
Instead of talking about food, which I actually did point it out that food's the main topic in this blog, I said to myself one day, "Hm.. What if I transform it back to another piece of load which Gooi, Lau and Tong masturbate their days off my blog?"

The funny part comes later -- What happens to the HipHop and Taiwanese stars?
Seriously, many people deem the song "Jing Tian Ni Yao Jia Gei Wo" as a cute, little funny, little OH-SO-TOUCHED kind of bullshit? But if you look at it on another perspective, seriously, I don't buy the idea of them saying, 'DT in the house.... Jolin in the house.... Our love's in the house...'. Oh gawd.. Can't they say something like, "Our love never dies" or "My cupid stroke yours" or "Babe, do that to me once again... (muachhhsssxxxxx)"

I understand that the definition of Ah Beng is subjective. Let's not talk about the real Beng Bengz. Let's talk about.. How 5566 and David Tao did a good job by portraying images of themselves in videos as trendy people. Really, they are very trendy.

Anyway..
Just wait till the next post.
Seriously.

Your Butter vs Margerine Myth

2008-07-28T21:24:00.003+08:00

Appalled by the fact that my mother always read too many emails..
And here's one dire conclusion to it:

"The trust she earns by reading emails is nowhere justifiable, but it's certainly up to a figure where logic can only approve of her ignorance to the truth."

While we can't always justify what we read on the internet is always false, we can't always say that it's also true. All of us can explain much by looking at factors affecting expert, user and noob opinions over the Internet. A certain pattern of story-telling style can be the most compelling evidence found in their write ups, but also, hypothesis can sometimes be accurate and tilt its way towards factual facts.

In actual truth, I'd consider something a FACT more by reading expert opinions. Sometimes, experts can also be wrong -- Like Amy Beh on Brown Sauce or RD on sensitive, subjective topics like religion. While I'd say certain factors affecting their decision to point this out to their readers, it's basic knowledge you'd need to apply and weighing more important, prudent factors into a write-up is what gives a more abstract and accurate reading.

Let's take this for example -- Butter vs Margarine. What the fuck?
Before you even start, take a look at this text:

Marjerin pada asalnya bahan yang dihasilkan bagi menggemukkan ayam belanda
(turkey). Apabila ia menyebabkan kematian kepada haiwan terbabit, orang yang
melabur wang mereka dalam kajian itu mahukan wang mereka semula lalu memerah
otak untuk mencari jalan apa yang mahu dibuat dengan barangan tersebut bagi
mendapat semula wang pelaburan mereka.

Ianya adalah sebatian bahan berwarna putih yang tidak menyelerakan lalu
mereka tambah pewarna kuning dan menjual kepada orang ramai sebagai ganti
mentega. Suka tak? Mereka dengan liciknya telah menghasilkan marjerin dengan
pelbagai perasa baru.

TAHUKAH ANDA ...perbezaan antara marjerin dan mentega?
Bacalah sehingga ke akhirnya.anda tentu tertarik! Kedua-duanya mempunyai
jumlah kalori yang sama. Mentega sedikit tinggi kandungan lemak tepunya
sebanyak 8 gram berbanding 5 gram pada marjerin. Dengan memakan marjerin
boleh meningkatkan penyakit jantung pada wanita sebanyak 53% berbanding
memakan jumlah sama mentega, menurut Kajian Perubatan Harvard yang terbaru.
Memakan mentega meningkatkan penyerapan banyak nutrien lain dalam makanan.
Mentega mempunyai banyak faedah nutrisi berbanding marjerin kerana ia adalah
makanan tambah nilai!

Mentega lebih enak berbanding marjerin dan ia boleh menaikkan rasa makanan
lain. Mentega sudah pun wujud selama berabad-abad sedangkan marjerin
terhasil kurang dari 100 tahun.

Dan sekarang kita bercakap tentang marjerin. Ia sangat tinggi kandungan asid
lemak Trans. Meningkatkan risiko penyakit jantung koronari sebanyak tiga
kali ganda. Ia meningkatkan kolesterol total serta LDL (kolesterol
berbahaya) dan menurunkan HDL (kolesterol bagus). Marjerin menaikkan risiko
penyakit barah sebanyak lima kali ganda. Ia mengurangkan jumlah susu badan.
Ia juga merendahkan respons pertahanan tubuh serta keberkesanan insulin
semula jadi badan.

Dan ini ialah fakta yang paling membimbangkan . INI IALAH BAHAGIAN YANG
SANGAT MENARIK!
Marjerin hanya kekurangan SATU MOLEKUL untuk menjadi PLASTIK. Fakta ini
sahaja sudah cukup membuatkan saya mengelak dari memakan marjerin seumur
hidup saya dan setiap barangan yang melalui proses hidrogenasi (ia bermakna
hidrogen ditambah, mengubah struktur molekul bahan).

Anda boleh cuba melakukan ujikaji ini:
Belilah satu mangkuk marjerin dan tinggalkan ia dalam garaj mahupun tempat
teduh. Dalam masa dua hari anda akan dapati dua perkara berikut:

*tiada lalat yang menghurung, tidak juga lalat buah akan menghampirinya (ia
sepatutnya memberitahu sesuatu kepada anda)
*ianya tidak akan membusuk atau bertukar baunya kerana ia tiada nilai-nilai
nutrisi; tidak akan ada apa yang tumbuh atasnya. Hatta satu mikroorganisma
juga tidak akan membiak atasnya. Kenapa? Kerana ia sangat hampir kepada
plastik. Mahukah anda meleburkan Tupperware dan menyapu ia ke atas roti
anda?

BAGUSLA KALAU DAH TAHU..Sebar2kan supaya jumlah pesakit jantung & barah berkurang.

sedih sgt…..dah lama kita terkena….

I'd very much applaud for the person who writes this bit of information as an AWARENESS info to his friends, family or loved ones. But on the other hand, looking at my experiences as a chef and DEBATING my way away from food since the past, I'd conclude that Whatever That's Taken in Excess Will Damage Your Health. Same goes to drugs.

Depending on the TYPE OF INGREDIENT/FOOD ITEM, you can justify which amount is considered excess. There's a justifiable figure to it. Or fact.

And after you've read that bit of information in blue, I'd invite you to READ THIS so that you can better understand its application and reverse opinion against these emails.

In the ideal world, none of us wish to have less than normal health. It's men's dream to finally be able to figure out how to live forever. Please understand that this term is made in a HUMANE, logical manner.

I hereby plead to the general public to stop believing what you just read over the net and start doing your own logical research. Dampening factors may be there, but don't let that be daunting. Seek and you will learn.

-Franz

Long John Silvers

2008-07-26T01:07:00.004+08:00

Long John Silvers Caught FISHY

The other day (a few months back) when Mark was over at Malaysia, we didn't know where to eat. What's there to eat in Midvalley that has less than the nett worth of Malaysia's fast food chains that are so growing and never cease to amaze me with their items? At least some International brands that I know of. Anyway, we decided to walk into this fast food restaurant called Long John Silvers.

It was okay. My first impression:

Time = 1.03pm (Lunch Time)
Traffic in Midvalley = 7/10 full.
Snobbish idiots = 4 out of 5 people.
Cute girls = Only that girl selling the herbal drink. DAMN. She's CUTE.
Restaurant Capacity = ><50>

To my surprise, during lunch time, most of the restaurants located in Midvalley will be at least half occupied. Except for a few new ones. Long John Silvers isn't particularly new, and I believe it isn't at all. Visit their international website here.

For a fast food chain like that, my expectations are high. As high as McDonalds. So we went in and..

Amount of Walk-in Customers: 3 heads
Number of Staff: 5 visible, 1 hidden.
Friendliness of cashier: 1 out of 5 (1 worst, 5 best)
Beauty of cashier: 0.5 out of 5 (0 worst, 5 best)
Interior feel: 2 out of 5 ("")
Crazy ass monkey cooks playing in the kitchen: All.
Hygiene of kitchen from outside: 1 out of 5. ("")
Impression of menu: Small menu, expensive shit.

So there you go - My order, Long John Silver's Black Pepper Fish. To be honest, the rice tastes good. It's as if I've eaten one of Mom's. It was flavourful, rich with stock, loads of Sodium, and high in carb.

But the fish.

It gives me the jees until this very day. It's supposed to be their signature item. And what happened?

They totally screwed the fish fillet. Totally. And in my entire career, I've never screwed a fish this badly, even when I was cooking Ikan Kembung with Kunyit (and I burnt the fish AND the kuali). The fish was so fucked up that I left half of the portion and didn't want to munch on it anymore. The skin was awfully soft, stale as hell, gave no enticing look, couldn't match such cooking method, it was almost plastic, and the fish meat is overcooked.

I don't blame LJsilvers for this. I blame the STAFF.

Here's another bite, from LJsilver's staff HOME COOKED FISH.
The rice is good though. The mixed lettuce? Soft. Not crunchy to the bite, no light seasoning, gave an awful presentation and was mixed with the black pepper sauce.

I would say that the rice is good, again. I credit them for it. The rice smells like nothing, but gave a robust mixed flavour of rich, salty, creamy and pleasant. To me, this could be like the next Nasi Minyak but I'll doubt that.

I'd rather call it, "LJsilver's staff Nasi Minyak ala Malaysia!"

Last is the Pineapple Cheesecake or something like that. This was awesome. Probably the best thing I've eaten after the rice. (Credit still goes to the Coke, although the coke wasn't handled very properly).

Excellent bite. You should go to LJsilvers for this, and ONLY this.

Mark had the other. The other things on the menu don't look appetizing enough to me. Anyway..

Experience: Almost very bad.
Will I visit the store again: Yes, for the dessert.
Price: Fuckingly expensive, mate!
Rate: 4.98/10.

Signed: Franz.

Faraj KETAT, Isteri PERKASA!

2008-07-25T09:13:00.002+08:00

Now Pancut LEWAT, suami PERKASA!
Long have I admired the sense of humor these people have. By integrating one of the most talked about, performed, sensitive and universal topic, SEX, into products (which is normal), and making it look so hilarious to me made my day completely. Thank you SO much.

The other day when I was reading an e-mail in a group I joined, I came across an ad located on the midde far right corner of the screen saying Faraj Isteri Lebih Ketat or something like that.

The funny part didn't start there, but I was so tempted to click on it that I cannot live another minute without pressing the button. And here then I was led to:

IsteriPerkasa and SuamiPerkasa.

You must check it out. And if really, if you REALLY REALLY think that your girlfriend/wife's vaginal hole (cibai khang) is too lose, well, why don't you draw your credit card out now and purchase this particular product?

Or.. If you feel that your boyfriend/husband is not performing well, don't choose VIAGRA, choose SUAMI PERKASA! Woohoo! Long-lasting, hard pumping, staggering hermit-crashing, monster madness, cocks of the century with SuamiPerkasa's VCO-31!

Try it today! (Or have your girlfriend tease you, "MIDGET COCK!" or "You're such a loser.")

---

In all seriousness, I believe they've solved loads of people's problems.
Kudos to you guys! My sincere respects. =)

-Franz

Bargain Businesses in the Fashion Industry

2008-07-24T12:24:00.003+08:00

Are clothes getting cheaper each passing day?
You and I know that sometimes branding is not equivalent to quality, and also taste.
While many of these are subjective, it's always best to leave creative designers to variate their many talents in order to further benefit the fashion industry.

But what about little stores like this?
I wouldn't exactly term these stores bargain businesses in the fashion industry, but I'd rather say, they are small retailers that found the use of internet and made a fortune out of it.

Just like how MLM/Pyramid businesses found their niche and worked towards it.
Bravo, you've achieved something which many couldn't. (No sarcasm)

To my surprise, somewhere around months ago, I noticed that a friend of mine opened an online fashion retail store. I remember my ex use to buy clothes this way (with my consent, but in the end she resulted to the old-fashioned cash & carry), and I felt so insecure during its transaction. Anyhow, it's not big money, so she gave it a try. What happens next? We got a bad retailer. =)

Not only the internet is a realm where there are almost no limited boundaries, but the internet is also a place where explorers, wise-ass ninjas and thieves are at their best. If you take a look at this boutique site, you'll realize that they have received massive spam. This time it's not about link popularity, link juice or ranking or whatsoever (I believe local spammers aren't all that informed yet), but it's more like branding in the guerilla marketing fashion which the infamous Redbull brand practices.

To think of it as a temporary investment, it might be great. Channeling at least 100 visits to your blog one day and have a conversion rate of at least 2% would definitely not be enough. As you know, competition is great. For an average sale of RM15, a 2% conversion would be RM30 a day. But for the fashion industry, it's not always this way. It could range from 8-10%, sometimes even 15-25%, for successful retailers out there who have compelling sites and strategic strategies. Kudos to them.

As my full time job suggests that online advertising inputs cannot and will not necessarily be only the all-technical and brainy SEO, but SEM, SM, OM, PA which came into the play in the late 2000 would definitely be something these people should think about. To get 10,000 unique pageviews in the average of 3 months with proper marketing strategies, revised business case and the right industry would be almost too simple to make.

But it all returns to the concept --> Business in the making. But why the business? Money. It all returns to conversions, conversions. Figures are the most important thing at the end of the day. There is no evidence saying that businesses that aren't supported at least >30% of money motivation will survive. Or maybe even the figure less than. What good other than anything subjective would a business do if the motivation isn't all about just cash?

But as far as I'm concerned, the internet is a dangerous way to buy things, especially from unknown, small retailers like that. Suppose if it's me, I'd probably walk to her house to get it. But what about if it's someone half the world away, and shipping would take 10 days?

In the US, items that are more than 1kg, after local and federal taxation with shipping fees and insurance would probably cost less than $100. Those are for heavier items which does not necessarily cover only fashion materials. Latest price from an e-commerce site that I've checked for my client, is only $12.95 for delivery charges, excluding taxes. Can Malaysia be at that point in the next 2 years?

On the average of services offered here in Malaysia, be it not physical, digital or mental services, there has been quite of a slight decline as compared to many outside of Malaysia. But wait - How many of your friends tell you that, and actually made it through? Many Malaysian companies (or so called, because its owners/founders are Malaysians) perform oversea transactions and registration because we're very limited to the things we can do here in our TANAH air. Not to get into politics, but at the end of a term faraway from our homeland, our people actually had the brains to move.

Back to the topic: Fashion and little retailers.
It's great to see blooming ideas and young people trying to follow the trend.
But when are we going to start becoming the sore thumb (SEO blog post, previously) and start ruling out people who less understand what they're doing at whole?

I'll try and make a 'purchase' to these stores one day and see their initiation and reaction towards the scrutinizingly donkey me.

-Franz

Champion Posers

2008-07-19T09:34:00.000+08:00

Ding ding ding!!

CHAMPION!!!!

Fashionicizing Fashion

2008-07-19T00:33:00.006+08:00

Following my recent post on not impersonating Taiwan's fashion, I obviously didn't do it very well. I spoke too much rubbish and did too little review to fully understand how it worked, but anyway..

Phew! (Sweat blood)
My experience was almost horrific.
I didn't believe my eyes?

Moreover it was PINK?
And it's like... WRAPPED?

What could be better than getting JUICED?

Beauty IS subjective. Religion IS subjective.

But the NIPPLES (if you look closer) - Is sure CARESSING.

-Franz

A Provisional Cuisine

2008-07-13T16:15:00.000+08:00

Chefs today know that honing classic cuisines can help sharpen their skills in many ways – Including pounding on the weights of mixology knowledge, crafting different methods of cooking into a complicated dish and also creatively fuse variety of garnishes into one, which today termed by many as the Fusion culinary art. In the early 70s’ when the French first introduced the nouvelle cuisine; a lighter, crisp, fresher and trendier choice where tastes are emphasized on the naturals of a food ingredient, it eventually caught the attention of several communities abroad. Back then, restaurateurs push their chefs so vigorously for something unique and new – Not the mention the already abundant number of competitors growing stronger in the market each and every day.

Surprisingly, the foreigners then approached the cuisine with much respect for a difference after a try out period, then changed almost entirely the original genre of the cuisine by implementing local elements of their own. Beefing up juices to meet tastes of the local market sure is hellish for Chefs the in initial stage but success came in a bigger bulk when the cuisine in the latter, was modernized then made a pitch in publicity. It is then famously known as the Fusion cuisine. Or some call it an extrinsic taste of the new era.

Today, many still refuse to bless the acceptance of Fusion cuisine in the culinary world. Adverse gastronomy to a large number people is considered a mockery to the classics. That is why after more than two decades of worldwide publicity, Fusion cuisine still does not make much of an impact in the industry. Still, on the other hand there were wide acceptance of this cuisine in certain communities. Call it extraneous elements in the sparkle of a gem or adulteration of a fantabulous authentic cuisine; to some, it’s more than just addiction. It’s passion.

An amateurish rush into conclusions results in total ignorance. Avoid them.

-Franz

Be informed, SEO-frenzies

2008-07-12T22:38:00.005+08:00

Following my recent post on SEO, which I unprofessionally burped my heart out.
There will never be another reply post regarding any of your SEO questions, so please stop asking.

If you understand internet marketing well enough, you'd probably know where SEO stands. It's a great thing since loads of people these days use search engines to get information -- But hey, it doesn't stop there. What's most important is actually your deliverables, your uncanning ability to draw people to your site to purchase your goods and/or services.

Provided you're a great SEO person - You know what you're doing, you did it right, and yeah, results show. But if you do not produce something that will benefit the end user, you'll probably not get any returning visitors. It's just like business.

First impression - Web Design: Layouts, Color Schemes, Navigational Properties, Structure, System, Services, Goods, Widgets, Popularity, Presence, Visibility.
Making an Impact - Exceptional content, great visitors, interactivity, answers to people's questions, solutions, attractiveness, competitive price.

No matter what, a business plan has to be ready before you can start to think of building a web presence. Even if it's something called 'Online Sales', you'll still need:

Business Plans / Project Board
Vision, Mission and Objectives
Business Goals and Aims
Business Strategies
Competitive Edge
Fundings
Skillsets
Proper Management Procedures
Systematic Processes of Goods and/or Services

And before all of the Web Design comes in, 9 of these has to be laid out in a plan first. Just right after web design comes in, then SEO can start.

And to answer your questions regarding how to optimize:

Understand your site/business first.
Analyze competitors
Track your site by inserting a tracking code into your site for analysis. Use multiple Analytics tool. You should collect at least 2 weeks of data.
Troubleshoot your site for any problems
a) Hosting - How reliable?
b) On-page - Tableless CSS, Flash SDK, Menu placing, Tags placement, iFrame usage
c) Is your site multiple browser-friendly?
d) Do you have content, or do you need to start writing?
e) Navigation system: How effective are they?
f) Sitemap: XML or HTML? Why not do both? Noindex/Nofollow which one?
g) Static page (HTML) or Dynamic? (ASP, PHP)
Start by analyzing your competitors:
a) Check their backlinks, ranking, keywords, target market, products, competitive edge
b) Get them to answer some questions you have for your own business
Look back again at your business and see how well you can do. Understand your target market by analyzing your traffic data from analytics -- If you're fairly new, you should get extensive information from the analytics data. If you're freshly new, consider Webmaster Tools (Google and Live).
Start by looking at your products and/or services, creatively thinking of keywords that people will usually type in when they want to search for that kind of products/services you're offering. Be creative there.
For example, if you're selling cable tv (For Astro), instead of optimizing for 'cable TV', you can optimize for celebrity names that appear a lot on Astro. For example, "Jacky Chan movies" or "Jay chou concert". Whichever market you're targeting.
When you select keywords, bear in mind that geographical location is VERY important, so does research on your target market, competitive edge, competitors, products and/or services and also prices. If you do not do any of the 5 above, you cannot select your keywords properly. Run your keywords on any keyword tool to see if they are effective enough. Don't forget that KEI is just a ballpath figure. If you select your keywords based on KEI, it may not be effective at all. Consider traffic, trends, CTR, Historical searches, country-by-country search, etc.
Select your SEO/M methods.
Strategize your methods based on your budget, time, business type, target market, point of sales and so forth.
Re-review your Analytics data and make sure that your keywords are correct before targeting.
Perform on-page SEO before off-page.
Use SEM methods wisely.

And there are so many other unmentioned steps behind these 13 steps. Seriously, to do an excellent SEO job will take loads of patience, understanding, materials and fair amount of funding. It's fair to justify that SEO cannot be performed in just one month, in just a short period. Because at the end of the day, you'll still need to check:

Rankings, links, performing keywords
Content Density
Conversion goals
SEO/M methods (revise, revise and revise)
Business strategies
Costing and fundings
Analyze target market (new and old)
Understand trends based on products and/or services

At the end of the day, to compile all of these into layman's terms:

Provide great content that you know will benefit your end-user, while understand the very basics of SEO. If your business is good enough, people will know you ARE worthy of their time.

And to wrap everything up, please be advised - I'm not looking for a fight with Norhafidz or any of his supporters/friends/whomever. If you're still not satisfied with my answer, you can take a look at the manual I prepare. And that's the last thing I'd ever share with any of you, or even talk about this in public.

---- Company Review: Know your Basics (Download - DOC)
---- SEO Copywriting: The Very Basics (Download - DOC)

All of these are my work. I never copied a single material from anywhere. I wrote this down to further educate the public about SEO works, and I think they love it. So if you think you want to go ahead and plagiarize my copy, you can go ahead. But deep down inside you, you know this is not yours. My content is provided for free.

I know my fellow Malaysians are not dumb -- And I love them. This is my community service to share my care for all Malaysians, after we've seen a massive negative political resonance in our country. =)

-Franz

Menu For The Week

2008-07-12T21:40:00.002+08:00

To the grocery store I drove to last Friday, obtaining RM50 in total, items.
I was bored and decided to save up a little -- Besides looking for a new diet - All bread diet.

Little did I know the idea of this bread diet thing - It just didn't work.
Whatever, you know. It's not like rice is going to kill me. Or potatoes. Or any starches.

I walked into the non-Halal section and found something really cool.

PIG'S EARS

Seriously, I didn't think I'd buy that, but something hit me on the head and said, "Look, be innovative!"

Whatever.

Anyway, my menu for last week was:

Breakfast 'High in dietary fiber' Cereals with Sultanas, Black Raisins and Crunchy Bananas, filled with cold vanilla in cinnamon sugar.
Pan-fried szechuan beef with home-made tomato concasse
Rich Nyonya-style Szechuan beef soup with mirepoix and traditional Malaysian herbs
Chicken and Beef Szechuan Stew with braised onions and carrots
Grilled Szechuan with Pig's Ear
Szechuan Soup with Pig's Ear

I'm a little crazy about Szechuan, and seriously, I'd love to try out any new stuff that comes along my way. Until then, I'll probably just start small - Basic ingredients with the addition of Szechuan.

Closer to the variety is Kimchi, but I don't seem to find one that's cheap enough for me to consume in a large amount every single day (If I cook everyday)

Durians are already killing me now. I ate so many that you can smell durians from 10m away when I belch.

-Franz

Subsequently Tortured of Foreigners in Malaysia?

2008-07-08T17:28:00.008+08:00

Disclaimer: I take responsibility in whatever I said, as per my knowledge, experience and understanding, but I do not take responsibility in any damage in any way at any time to anyone done prior to digesting posts like this. I never advertised, encouraged or hyped anyone to continue reading this -- As I know some elements here may be offensive. I do not endorse such write-ups nor do I promote this sort of story written in any way. Read at your own risk, if you will.
Dedicated to all my Babus (Bangladesh, Pakistan, Philippines, Myanmar, Vietnam, Thailand) who has worked under the command of certain superiors that took almost no notice of your difficulties, understanding and claims.

(Dispute made based on December 15th, 2007)
BASED ON A TRUE STORY
Foreign Workers PUSHED to the LIMITS
They were practically helpless when it comes to conmen - They simply do not understand the whole process flow, nor basics of their actions and doings while signing the contract; and when they did sign the contract, a flow of mishaps befell upon them like meteor showers to planet earth.

He has four (4) children. And all of them are basically schooling. Eldest is 17, youngest being 9. In the town of Pakistan, Mamud* gave himself a brand new chance to try something new he hasn't done before. In his circle of friends, great comments about this new plan were passing on like a juicy gossip flying in and out of everyone's ears. Mamud stated his interest in this plan, just like everyone else did. Hordes of promises flew pass his ear drums whilst checking on his farm he so cared for.

And just like everyone else, Mamud needed to improve. He wanted his family's life to be better -- Seeing the recent torment they receive from monetary issues that constantly force them to cut up on spendings and save more for rainy days. Mamud was sad - But determined. Bearing the role of "The Voice of the House", he decided to embark in this new journey of 'lucrative' business his friends were bragging about, just like how another of his two close friends came back from a foreign land; now being able to afford hordes of goats and cows.

Knowing that life wouldn't improve much in his motherland, he decided to step up to the challenge and take the risk. He know that he'll miss his family dearly, moreover fail to care for them whenever they need him most. It's a sacrifice he'll make for the sake of his family. He needed to go; move; innovate.

One fine day, his friends approached him and said, "Hey Mamud, we're going on a journey to this [land] to earn more money for ourselves. Seems like it's a deal, hearing that the returns we get will be much higher than our investments. All we need to do is sacrifice 2 years of our time, pay an upfront fee, go there and make some serious cash." At first, Mamud didn't buy it. He argued that nothing comes easy, and especially for third world countries, many are desperately seeking for ways to steal others' coffers.

After a full-blown day of convincing Mamud, he finally agreed to take the challenge and try that something new. He took out all of his savings, told his wife that he needed to go, left his family almost drained and paid the fee to this particular agent which promised him this:

The upfront fee will consist of immigration processes, documents and transportation fees.
A list of places to work will be written down in paper for you to choose where to go.
In approximate, [this] is the value of time to earnings you'll get in 30-days, and the terms are set by the restaurant itself, falling back to the agent for consultation.
For value-added employment services, commercial or industrial industries will decide on what to give, and what not to give. It's not disclosed in order to prevent confusion/biacism on certain issues.
Transportation fees are fully covered, through and fro. Breaching of the contract will result in immediate dismissal, and 'damage' fees will be paid to the country's authorities, agent and also current employer.
Contract is valid for 2 years only, and scheduled flight hours are strict. Any breach of dateline, time or any other mentioned on the air ticket and contract will result in immediate action taken by whichever party concerned.
Medical checkup is required prior to flight.

Mamud briefly hear the terms and conditions from one of his friends and also agents, together with another sheet or two of contract terms. Little did he know the disaster that was about to hit him on the head so hard that he can never forget this tough lesson learnt.

Mamud (Kitchen Helper)
General Responsibilities:

Assist in daily kitchen duties
Includes: Mise en place (Preparation work), storage, stock check, cleaning.
Assist Chef de Partie in handling cooking duties
Assist Dishwasher in dishwashing
Assist Junior Chef in receiving raw materials and goods
Make necessary purchases via shopping mall nearby

Working Hours:

Shift work: 10am - 10pm daily
This is a 12 hour shift, with 2 1/2 hour break in between (Split shift)
Off days: Anywhere in between Monday to Thursday
Accommodates only one (1) day

Transportation:

Two legs - 3km walk from the company's apartment
Some sweet stranger - Who'd probably carpool him
Me - Who might take him to work sometimes
The bus - Almost too irrelevant, because it's so near and not worth the price & time
The Taxi - Too expensive!

Added value employee status:

Free flow of food (Only if he doesn't get caught stealing)
Food-tasting benefits (It's essential for the prep guy to also taste)
Medical Coverage (Only limited to RM25 per visit, only 6 days of MC claims a year)
Free 'dog-food' lunch (and sometimes dinner)

Mamud has been working in the restaurant for more than 1 year (2 year term contract). His pay is a stunning RM500/month. When he asks for RM50 increment, he was shot down by his bosses and top management people.

When asked about his agents and whoever that's handling his passport, he replied, "I don't have my passport with me. It's with the boss. The agency directed me to hand over my passport to my boss for security purposes. What security purpose?"

When asked about his salary, he frowned and showed signs of anger: "RM500 a month is what I get. I've been asking for more since the last time (just a month ago), for a year already. All I ask for is a RM50 increment. But not only I didn't get any increment in salary, I also didn't get any bonus or commission or profit-sharing-tip-box.

----- Comment -----
Please note that I do not mean to generalize in any way. Mamud is just an example of a badly treated staff, working in a restaurant here in KL.

Probably, for those of us here who have been living a comfortable life wouldn't feel the pain and anger of our fellow foreign workers. As they are important to many of our industries here in Malaysia, we should also not neglect them in a way where it's almost inhumane. It may not necessarily be physical torture, but it's mental torture.

From what I understand, Mamud paid the agency RM3715.00 in 2006, boarded the plane and haven't saved enough since. He has plans to breach the contract, take his savings and head back to his land where he could focus more on expanding his farm rather than working his days off in a cool looking restaurant with a shabby-hearted boss.

He wasn't only badly treated in terms of finance - He has been receiving loads of anger-puts from his top management people, boss and also many other people who do not see things in his perspective. Often, he take the fight to prove himself right for at least once, maybe twice, then shy off to the back of the kitchen and mumble to himself.

He hates another of his colleague - A foreigner also: Gets paid 2.2 times of his salary, does little work, has no experience, lack in understanding and also interest in working perfectly. Oh did I mention Mamud is a near-perfectionist?

For those of you out there who thinks life is pathetic, think again. With all the facilities, image, lifestyle and trend we're living on now, we're considered lucky to not be in Mamud's shoes. Imagine that happening to you one day (maybe not through an agent, but in another legitimate way).

I'd like to take this opportunity to ask employers around Malaysia to take a step back, understand and think for your employees at times. Not to mention only foreigners, but local workforce as well.

We know very well that many upcoming Malaysian workforce do not wish to be considered blue-collar, or anything equivalent to it. Since these foreigners come in to look for a better life, please consider them important and part of the team as well. After all, in the working world, it's sometimes hard.

-Franz

How the price hike fucked Malaysians

2008-07-07T13:41:00.000+08:00

How RM2.70 fucked Malaysians

The Malaysian Govt recently hiked gas prices by 78 cents in Malaysia, leaving almost everyone in anger with their intolerant rules and of such. Here are some of the recaps and comments.

The recent increase of gas prices in Malaysia stunned Malaysians nationwide when the government announced the increment from RM1.92/liter to RM2.70/liter (RM0.78 difference). As you can see, petrol hikes encourages many other price hikes including the services, construction, manufacturing and production industry. Petrol hikes are by far one of the most cruel thing that could ever happen to a nation - It could mean, "It's time to be fucked by life, once again" and many other possible meanings.

Intolerant citizens shared a number of their thoughts, including unlawful ones. During the 12th General Elections 2008 on March, the wider community of Malaysia has seen a huge number of incoming threats from the government that warns the society indirectly after their cunning acts were uncovered by the rakyat. That could probably mean, it's time to change to a new Government, and try something/one new.

Is RM2.70 really killing? Not really. Looking at the US it's USD4.00/liter. But hey, that's a non-oil producing country. What about comparing Venezuela or UAE? Let's not talk about the middle east. Quality of oil (as I could understand) in Malaysia is not as good as compared to most countries in the Middle East but hey, let's compare this situation to the one 'Malaysia selling water to Singapore for treatment, then buying back from them at another price.' Kinda dumb sounding.

However, just to add on some notes:

Lack of account transparency of Petronas (reports only to the PM)
RM359 billion not known of its whereabouts.
The increase of gas prices means increase of everything else - Which will affect the poorer community at large in terms of food, transportation, medical bills and so forth.
The crazy idea of judging one's wealth by looking at the power of his/her vehicle.
The never-ending cash-greedy management authorities to benefit themselves over the general public of Malaysia.
High excise of duties on cars (without a very good reason)
The recent historical mishaps of the current government.
Future economic mishaps might affect the nation at large -- Killing off many middle class people.
Lack of understanding into the rakyat's issues in terms of hardships and torments.
Leaders are not ready to sacrifice all for the benefit of the nation.
Recent comparison in terms of economics and demographics of neighboring countries show Malaysia's incompetence in many other ways despite the load of wealth Malaysia has.
Reduction in entertainment costs? Forget it. If we're talking about the private sector, I'm sure there'll be a HUGE difference, since the CINA boss can be manipulated in some way.

What's the deal? I'm all against the price hike, too. My main concern are poor people and senior citizens (retirees) who might just not be able to afford their current lifestyle now, looking at the price hike which leave them eating carrots instead of bread now.

According to Malaysia's current statistics, the number of senior citizens in Malaysia are approximately at the number of 1.8 million. Unfortunately, many of them (especially war veterans, clerks and office mates) have been living at minimum cost.

Let's take an average kitchen helper who was working in the French embassy back then in the 1970s'. She don't have a pension, believe me. Her husband passed away few years ago, leaving her and her grown up kid (away from home) all alone. She's now living alone, living on RM300 per month, and barely have enough for herself. Thanks to some kind people, she finally feel more financially stable because some are beginning to contribute to her kindness.

While many of us have seen so many senior citizens suffering at the RM150-300 on average wage earner, how many of us actually took the time to understand, care and support these people? It's as if they are invisible. Their contributions to the country may have ended, and they're wearing skids of the Elvis era; but still, it's part of who they are and what they are - They're not just waiting for death. I believe they're waiting for a change.

My recent talks to some old people has brought some ideas to me. Lately, I've been supporting and speaking to an elderly person - Asking her from head to toe about her life from the beginning. With the oil hike, there's no surprise that when she heads on down to the market one fine day, again, she'll be shocked to find that prices of every single damn thing -- Including toys, have increased.

According to her, "We've been so lucky to have lived this long. God has indeed blessed us so much." And to my dismay, the way she said it is as if it was sarcastic. In a way, she's trying to grab hold of the young's attention.

But what about the government then? Has political agendas seen their greatest might of fights, controversies and so forth in 2008, due to ONE MAN's decision? The price hike has indeed fueled many other citizens to fight for what they believe in -- The government is corrupt, and they need to do something about it. Hell, I don't think that way, but I think we're on the way to be Philippines No. 2 if you're talking THAT way.

It's certainly arguable to say that the price hike went this way -> It's to benefit the rich, and kill the poor. Corruption is everywhere, but high level conspiracy to affect 26 million people cannot not be justifiable by just ONE MAN's words.

While many have not seen much of the economic growth over the past years, as you can see the GDP growth of Malaysia for 2006.

Malaysia's GDP Growth '06-'07

Many of us would argue that our economic growth are seeing signs of a massive increment with great opportunities over the next decade, a relevant review on the country has to be thoroughly done even before stepping up to make one small decision that will affect as small as a town itself.

We could see since 1995 that PANAMA's price of land rate has shot up two folds just over 2 decades and has been almost static since then. While developers are looking for investment opportunities in places like Panama, there's no doubt that the speculation made by many economists out there saying, "Croatia, Thailand, Uruguay, France, parts of the UK and so forth have seen a massive hike in land prices due to the huge amount of investors seeking to TRIPLE or QUADRAPLE their investment fold in just a short period of one decade."

Panama remained better since everything's great about them - Their culture, place, nature, people, celebrations, food, beauty, growth and so forth. And the land prices is extremely cheap. With just less than a million US dollars, you can now enjoy a serene bungalow village with approximately 10,000 sqft.

According to Economist.com, Malaysia is speculated to have 5.875% average of four years from today until 2012 of GDP growth. And also according to this Economist Country Briefing of Malaysia, "Malaysia will form closer trade and economic ties with a number of nations following the completion of several bilateral trade agreements. The public finances will stabilise over the forecast period, but the government will struggle to balance the budget as it allocates more resources to the development of regional economic zones.

". Which I think is true, but looking at it from a Malaysian citizen's point of view....

-Franz

When your dumb hits the toe

2008-07-04T14:45:00.002+08:00

Sometimes, people can just be so idiotic. <-- Let's take for example, this text is actually written too casually.

In terms of being a donkey in a jar, people are very much likely similar to it.
Sounds better?

Maybe.

After all, when someone's mind is so shallow it that kicks off to the part where everyone would think he's an idiot for making his statement, he's no more than just humiliating himself over and over again, without requiring anyone to point it out. How nice could it be if really, one fine day, that person would receive a bump on the wall.

While structuring your sentences could be the core of each and every idea elaborated, and basic understanding of whichever subject is SO VITAL before making any comments, it's best that sometimes, you should just keep your mouth shut and not say a thing. Since it's not a big thing so hey, why bother? It's not the end of the world. It's only the end of people's respect to you =)

Who cares? As long as I keep them coming, people could understand.
Why should I even bother stomping out on my on credibility for the sake of benefiting one person's might and strength of understanding? Unfortunately, too many idiots made this mistake.

-Franz

Constructive criticism - Can or Cannot?

2008-07-02T08:56:00.003+08:00

In all formalities, constructive criticism is a kind of 'comment' that criticizes black labels that are meant to be blue. While many of us will not and might not just accept the fact that constructive criticism leads better growth, understanding and would probably spur us to try out for something better, many don't take them well.

In fact, I was spat with laughter, humiliated and 'sodomized' in front of so many people when I was
in the verge of learning. While walking home, I was cursing away to these people that actually did me almost no good at that moment. Little did I realise that when I think about it today, I actually implemented so many of their lessons.

In learning processes, we're somewhat somewhere very backward compared to many other countries out there simply because our culture and lifestyle are so diverse that it enables our brains to simply sit down, rest and not think creatively, accurately and accept ideas that are way beyond our scope of thinking.

It'll be almost too irrelevant to blame the government for our education system, and very irrelevant to say that our teachers are lazy and the syllabus is dumb. If we look at things in another perspective, they are not all that bad. Simply because:

In a weird, wired way, the education system challenges us to start thinking maturely or realise it only when you make that mistake.
The education system didn't stop us from thinking constructively, but rather encourages us to further pursue syllabuses that are not stated in the book(s).
Primary textbooks for a particular subject focuses on the very basics in order to channel interest (which do not work much anymore at this era)
Challenges are there, but the thing called "Fikiran Secara Kritis Dan Kreatif" will only happen if you make it happen.
In a quiet way, the education system tells you that you need to further on study a particular subject or put more research on it to excel.

Looking at our diverse culture here in Malaysia, there's no such saying that, "This race is actually lazy, that race is actually dumb." No. That's stereotyping and also bias. You have to accept that we are all one in the eyes of many, regardless of what skin colour we have. And for us, internally, it's much more important to see everyone as one - Malaysians. Categorizing will not only impede hatred among all, but also caress a certain unwanted status that all of us will not like.

But what about their (education system) downsides?

They don't tell you that the world is THAT big.
Implementing a sort of critical thinking method where it does not tally with the Malaysian community at large;.. mindset.
Strategically, it's not working so well because it does not very much prepare students to face the world but rather prepare them to make their mistakes and fall back into the comfort zone.
A pitiful sense of vague correction method.

It doesn't really matter whether if the government, our parents, the community, foreigners or our siblings are teaching us how to live life. It's more important that we could actually constructively think for ourselves and accept criticism as we grow.

P/S: Proving methods are one way of defending yourself with almost all of your guts. While it may seem extrinsic to my personalities, I'd rather say, "Okay. Do as you will."

-Franz

Your Malaysian SEO guy is IGNORANT or not?

2008-06-30T12:19:00.003+08:00

Hello and welcome to my viewers from all over the world.
For your information, this blog has NOT UNDERGONE SEO or SEM.
Please be advised.

Here's another of my CRITIQUE chapter, special from Franz, the idiotic critic who criticizes anything that walks in the wrong path of what it should be. Oh well, do I look stupid writing that sentence? I don't fucking care. Criticize me if you want, I'll be more than glad to welcome all incoming criticism.

Today, I was running some errands and I found this website: http://www.teknikseo.com/
It's run by a guy named Norhafidz. Hello Norhafidz, if you are reading this, please don't get mad. I'm just trying to show you the world in a different view. Please accept this criticism in a positive point of view.

Your website, http://www.teknikseo.com/ has:

Approx 1.5 page strength. Why? Because your keyword density is high, but unfortunately, it's not high enough on the title, body and anchor text. Which makes you, a bad SEO. Read more to find out why your page strength is so low and why you do not qualify to be an SEO consultant.
Has only 5 pages, and not enough information for the bots to crawl. As you know, (or maybe don't know), content is KING for SEO. So if you don't have content, consider yourself greyhat. Don't know what's grey hat? Then don't be an SEO consultant.
You have 118 backlinks, but they are rubbish backlinks. Why do I say that? For forum links, they are temporary -- Probably even die off in 1 week after google crawled your site and give you 0.001% of the forum's link juice. For blogs that has backlinks to your site, they are totally irrelevant in the sense that they don't give you much credit.
Your title is bad -- Because for your keywords, they are considered Niche. in the SEO world people are not fighting for niche keywords -- They are fighting for general keywords. Sorry, but you don't qualify if you don't even know the industry this well.
Your age of domain is 85 years old. But hey, my blog that is up for less than a month is ranking higher than yours (not this blog). Sorry -- I think I have better backlinks/content.
You focus a lot on technorati links -- Great. But hello, SEO off page isn't all about technorati. Google BENEFITS their user for FREE content (main concern). So if your site is selling something, it has to be ABSOLUTELY informational and great or else, forget about Google in the long run (approx 1 year)
You do not have links to directories, too. For an SEO, directories (link juice) are so important. 85 days old domains and almost no directories pointing? Hello. Where is the DIRECTORY LISTING for SEO technique? You basically just died off in this area.
You claim that SEO is easy. You're wrong. SEO is a complex science that you have totally no control over (on the ranking), and also something which is changing so fast that you can't even catch up if you do indulge in it. It's technical, and people nowadays don't like to be technical. Technical people are back-ends. Creative insights are more important nowadays.
Up on 1st ranking in less than a month?? How do you expect me to believe that? If you're selling a book on SEO (taking into consideration a newbie would read it), and you tell them you'll get them 1st ranking in less than a month? Have you considered gastronomy in a day? Sorry, but rome isn't built in a day.
Your website looks as if it's a kind of I WANT TO SELL YOU, not BENEFIT you. Modern internet users are not dumb anymore, so forget the kind of WEB DESIGN that is plain selling.
Your website needs to scroll down too far. Have you considered that?
You never followed the AIDA steps in marketing writing. How do you even consider yourself an SEO consultant?
Sesiapa pun boleh berjaya dalam SEO. Yes, partially true. With LOADS of effort and LOADS of patience and LOADS of interest. Not buying some book like yours. I can get better information from the internet than your book.
Anda boleh lakukan yang baik berbanding pakar -- HELLO, SEO is not DEAD. It's revolutionary science that requires too much updates. You CANNOT say that you can be better than an SEO expert with your book when you already made so many mistakes on your site.
Real SEO people don't brag about their blogs -- Or show examples. They command a type of strength where people will know once they speak of it. Sorry, but I don't buy your idea.
For your meta keywords, here is my comment:meta name="keywords" content="SEO, Search Engine, Exposed, Teknik, Teknik SEO, Ranking" I'm sorry, you suck. Totally suck. How can you even optimize for such keyword? 'Ranking'? If I'm wrong (taking that you're not optimizing based on your meta keywords), then I'd say that you've done NO SEO at all.
I'm sorry to say this again, but any untalented SEO guys out there would laugh at you for even promoting SEO and selling a book? Gosh. That's really awful.
Masalah kekurangan pengunjung - Selamat tinggal? Whatever. Based on your SEO knowledge and words on your site, you're not even worth spending 1 cent for SEO.

So first of all, Mr of TeknikSEO.com. Let me give you a short briefing on SEO.

There are four major search engines in this world, namely Google, Yahoo, MSN and Ask (for US-based sites). For other sites like China, BAIDU.com is first.
SEO is technical and needs practical help. A book won't help. If you want to JANAKAN INTEREST of SEO from your book, I'd still buy your idea.
Your SEO efforts probably won't work, and DEFINITELY won't stay for longer than a month (unless you tell me that you have super niche keywords that nobody ever searched for).
Malaysians are not DUMB, mind you.
One SEO effort is not equals to FOREVER and EVER more visitors without superb content or exciting stuff.
Have you heard of SEM? Maybe you should check it out. Or SM. Or SMX advanced. Maybe you should know that before you even start.
Why is Matt Cutts's words and information so important? If you don't know what I'm saying, please, by all means, do not even try SEO.
Well, the market is not niche anymore. Books like these won't work. It'll only bluff people into buying your books and then not reading it. (Not many Malaysians like to read techical stuff)
You're competing with people that are better than you 10,000% or more. So please, if you don't know crap, don't take the bite. Run away and hide.
One experiment of yours do not mean a superb success. Do you know Google Sandbox? Or algorithm change? Can you even detect the change?
You should 'Nofollow' and 'Noindex' your terma dan syarat page to get more link juice. What happened?
Your choice of bolding sentences are wrong. Also italicizing and enphasis on words are wrong. How will you claim that you're an SEO consultant when this basic of yours is wrong?
If orang tak berpuas hati with your product, they will rugi, not you. You can always try and bluff another dumbass into buying it, but they cannot recover back their time wasted on checking your book out or reading it contents to understand more about the crap you're giving them.

Oh by the way, Mr. Norhafidz. Your scamming technique is 8 years old, almost close to 9. People are now more SEO-savvy. Sorry, but your technique failed.

Edit: Suddenly I feel lucky. I think I need to add more points.
Let's hope you can find me, by giving you one external link (link juice) to your site okay, norhafidz? TeknikSEO.com

So, do you see how did I bluff you there? A-ha.. There are three mistakes in my link to your site. Well, can you analyze them?

So, I was looking at your site once more, and you're selling this book for RM37. Hmm.. Sounds a little too corny for me. I might just buy it, just to see what dumb contents you have on your book. Have you considered Analytics?

Wow. Before I jump into PPC, Analytics, Keyword Research, SEM, Bid Management and so many more, you better pray that I stop writing or maybe, I could just do something called the Google Bomb, but I don't think that'll happen. I don't have enough time to play tricks like that.

You see, the thing about you, Norhafidz, is that you're giving wrong information to the public, which to me, is scam. And you're charging people for it. But what's good about your technique is that, you are creative. That stops there. What's bad is that:

This SCAM TECHNIQUE is out of date. In the US, this happened approx 8-9 years ago. Maybe even longer.
Read SEO FRAUDS. Now, if people are tech savvy.. Wow. You're more than a dope to them. You're a total SEO idiot.
Money is hard to earn, information is hard to digest. Nobody can learn SEO in just minutes. If you don't have patience and interest, you're dead.
What's worse? Many Malaysians don't read. Asking them to read your wrong-path-opps! SEO book is really... A dumb business way of doing it.
You're practically wasting your time! My friend got a PR3 in his blog in 3 months = 90 days = Toolbar PR. Don't understand? Again, go and read. Toolbar PR is not that accurate but it gives you a simple guideline.
Have you ever heard of free stuff nowadays? Extensive SEO information can be retrieved for FREE. Not yours. I'd rather pay myself to learn SEO.
Keywords are wrong! OMG!
No business plan. If there is, it sucked.
No competitor analysis. If there is, it sucked.
No strategy management or application of PRINCE2 training. If there is, it sucked.
No selling point. If there is... Shit. There isn't any that's relevant.
No formula yang berkesan. Your words just killed your book.
Almost everything you stated there in your site is rubbish.
You just wasted your time.
You didn't read/apply/experiment/update yourself on SEO that much.
May I suggest that you stop reading this now and go learn some stuff about SEO if you want to sell your book?

-Franz

Are you money's bitch?

2008-06-25T12:58:00.002+08:00

What makes you money's bitch?
It's a question you should probably ask yourself. But there's one thing you definitely haven't think of -- What makes you, if you're in a pyramid scheme or some dumb MLM business?

Let's assume that you're an average wage earner who has been bibled by this wondrous MLM guy. He talks about money, life, politics, war, cars, girls, dogs, food, hair.. And suddenly jumps into the topic related to his business when you least expect it, bit by bit, he tears your guard away and show your shining vulnerability. And when you are at the weakest, he strikes.

Suppose you joined this dumb MLM program - Let's say, XXX. So XXX is a hierarchy program where you could actually bring in people (It's not selling ah. Not Amway ah) and then make a huge network of people. He then shows you videos of thousands of people partying, enjoying their BMW Z4 rides, brushing their teeth with beer (I think I got too far) and guys showered with women all over them. Stylish, frenzy, and superbly elegant.

"Now my boy, you can have all of this with just a simple MANAGERIAL effort. Next time when you ask for a job, you'd probably get it because you're managing more than 50 downlines on your side! Plus, you get money for that! It's more than GAZILLION triple!"

How is that even relevant? Check THIS out.

So what's my point? Let me put this in layman's term.

Boss --> Sub-boss --> Pre Sub-boss --> Manager --> Supervisor --> Team Leader --> Bitch (You)

So where do you stand if you're like that in their eyes? Because as you know the PYRAMID SCHEME, as explained by Wikipedia (I'm not relating this XXX to pyramid) is down the line.

So what makes you? Suppose you're level 8?

You're the BOSS's (top level) bitch's bitch's bitch's bitch's bitch's bitch's bitch's BITCH.

Nevermind. You don't mind as long as the money comes to you. Okay. Let's talk about XXX's sustainability when it comes to schemes like that.

Level A = 4
(Assuming that 4 is your four downlines)
Level X = A^2
(Assuming that these people are down your line's line, which is your bitch's bitches)

So, you'll get the formula of..
Level 1 = 4
Level 2 = 16
Level 3 = 256
Level 4 = 65536 (Partially irrelevant)
Level 5 = TOTALLY IRRELEVANT, stop dreaming

Sustainability? Let's take the sum of 4 levels, get an average, then square-root them then times by 1/100.

sqrt[(4+16+256+65536) / 4 ] * (1/100)

= 128.2692 * (0.01)
= 1.283% of ever getting a shot to even reach level 4.

Time wasted = 365 days.
Money wasted = RM5,000
Time could be used = 240 working days. (5 days week)
Money could earn = RM1,800 * 12 = RM21,600/annum

Stupidity Level = Extremely high (95/100)

Okay. XXX is totally a scam. Now to talk about MLM..
Since I don't want to be anyone's bitch, you can forget about PREACHING to me about MLM or any other dumb sales stuff that has relations to any of this kind of crap. Stop wasting your time and go get your prospect customers now.

Well then, there's another thing:
My friend came up to me the other day and said --
"Franz, would you like to invest in commodities? It could save you thousands."
Answer: "Thank you so much. I'm so interested in getting to know you better."

"Franz, you want to do savings? I work for a bank now."
Answer: I'm money sensitive. Whatever that has no 1-hour ROI will not be considered.

"Franz, Lamberger is the way to go."
Answer: Well so is your future.

"Franz, Amway has good plans. Join my network if you want."
Answer: I have another plan. Look at the dog there, he seems like he want to screw someone. Go get it.

"Franz, USELESS la you. This don't want, that don't want. People can get money 2 days you take 1 month, sumore only 1/4 of my pay. Kenot la!!"
Answer: Congratulations! Do you want to invest in my lottery programme? First round, invest RM1,000,000. No money back guarantee!

For all you salesperson out there -- I WILL FIND YOU, when I NEED YOUR SERVICES.

-Franz-

Love's First Kiss

2008-06-16T16:07:00.007+08:00

Dedicated to Alvina Ng.
For inspiring a subtle yet frantic idea of love's first kiss; so nonchalantly flowing in my mind, kissing tear drops of a never to find again love that has faded away...

Strike the love cupid before it strikes you
Not all of us are lucky in relationships -- But at least we tried our best to experience it full-blown without missing a single dimple of luck. But how far could an immature love go? Or what does it take for puppy love suddenly realize that the cupid was WRONG --> Damn wrong.

Spring time has come and love is in the air. The wind blows so zephyrishly that it conquers the minds and souls of those in love. In this conquest of love that they share with each other, both were susceptible to no dangers; fear no enemies; take full pride in sharing for one another.. And that blessed moment itself drapes of an immature love that has passed by their very exciting lives.

There is no such thing as the horror of another person's presence - It was honor, respect, mutual recognition and an absolute blessing from the Gods. Athena could very well sense the importance of their favoritism, and cast away impending devils that come their way physically and mentally. This couple's love was so bombarded that not even Zeus's lightning could tear them apart -- Not at least the Roman Gods.

In moments of first few loves:
> You may be very well the loe of my life, and I shall love you to till the end.
> Take my life away if you leave me, for your love is everything to me.
> Our love is forever, and ever, and everlasting, and ever.
> I can never live without you.
> "Now we're COOKING TOGETHER!" (Opps Yippie!)
> ~~~You feel my heart with gladness... Take away all my sighs.. Ease my troubles that's what you do...~~~
> I love you.. Please don't let me go... Please.. PLEASE!! It's too much to bear.....
> PAUL, you son of a bitch. How could you go on a threesome? *slits*..... & dies.
>

In moments of Jerk #3 has left.
> I am single and not available. (While crying everynight on the bed cursing God for his/her loneliness.)
> I'm so happy being single, that I don't need a partner in YEARS! Not even for sex.
> Oh, you love me? Well.. I love you too....
> What? You saw her with another guy? Ahh.. It's not my problem.
> Hmm.. Should I wait for him or should I leave for John? (Call) CLUBBING TONIGHT!
> Chau hai you ah! You think I cannot french kiss "LELELELELE" you? Don't fucking dare me!
> Oh Daniel.. Ohh!!!......... Opps. Got the wrong ex. Oh ALBERT..!!

In moments of a more mature love.
> Darling, I'm not coming home tonight. Guy's night at the bar.
> GIRLS DAY! SHOO SHOO!
> Did you just say you love me? I heard 'oral'.
> Ahh who cares? She's with her friends.
> In Malaysia, I'm with her. In any other countries/states, I'm single.
> Can I hug the pillow instead of you?

In moments of an after marriage:
> Have I told you lately that I love you?
> Dear.. it's our anniversary today... | Whoops! Isn't it tomorrow?
> If you're bored of the same pussy then go get some new pussy!
> "SHHHHH.... our children are sleeping! If you moan THAT loud it'll wake them!"
> I'm tired. Leave me alone.
> "Ahh.. fuck me bitch..! Fuck me! Fuck me like how my ex-husband does..! Oh yeah!!"

On and on again, I've seen loads of young love chasing calamities. Or maybe being chased by. Who knows, one fine day, the scent of fragrance could not be smelt anymore but rather the density of how bad someone has been treated.

Young love is the best way to enjoy being fucked by its terrible horrors. Better yet, damaged and a tough lesson to teach ignorant child of their immaturity.

It all began with love's first kiss.

-Franz-

Understanding the term BAKE

2008-06-10T06:30:00.000+08:00

What do you know about BAKING?
It's exactly what you know about putting something in the oven then roasting it to perfection. But is it more than that or have auntie-minds clouded you with spherical delusions of burns?

Baking is more like sex. Before having sex, you have to 'WARM UP'. Warming up an oven makes a huge difference on your end-product. It could mean either a disastrous one (like how Chef Khuen killed his own cheesecake in front of the students.. well.. not because of not pre-heating the oven, I guess), or like how you get a roast which could be totally not crispy and sweaty pastries. Warming up could help you attain better quality of sex - Which could mean better libido gains, stronger tools and heavier bumpings. Opps.. Did I mention oral? =P

And when you get your meat in, it's always best to expose the fats (particularly roasts that are rich in fats very tempting to the eyes and tongue) to the heat source FIRST - That enables rich juices flow around/into the meat, absorbs the shitty flavor and release the creamy flavor, etc. What about the aroma? It could explode into the whole room, killing off all the smell everyone's taking into their nostrils - Better yet, it could even tantalize tastebuds of those who eat with their nose.

How does this relate to sex? As you squeeze juices out of fats in the meat, it's like throbbing (LOL) your stick over and over again to create a kind of natural lubrication where you'd experience the 'thrill' of the ride - More like taking advantage of not only the libido, but also all the other organs to make them excited.

Savoury products:

Baking works well for healthy foods ONLY - A question I was unintentionally asked.
Not necessarily. I could input trans-fatty acids inside and the heat could not kill it. Also, I could bake something so rich in fats (cream cheese) that you can grow approx 5kgs in 1 week if you eat in continuously.

Baking helps in extracting natural juices - Possibly, but not always.
What it 'extracts' actually the kind of internal aroma you don't get from raw meat - Since everything is like capsulatized in their own compartment, covered with moisture. Baking actually opens up the pores, releases juices and let the fats flow into it - Making it more sumptuous than lean meat - Also, not always the case.

Baking is much better than steaming - Depending on the meat.
Do you know that Kobe Beef and Codfish are best steamed? Check out the USDA or general website for more information. Also, you can try it out on your own - Get a small cut of kobe beef, smoke/steam it with herbs and now you're getting that cut. You'll notice that it'll be more tender, has more aroma and creates better juice flow with steaming (if you do it correctly for Kobe)

----

Squirting could be the best part of sex -- Simply because when both reaches peak, everything comes out and spills together. So does meat. When it reaches the peak, it's best that you rest them so that they will not be overkilled. Meaning to say, when you remove the meat from the oven, make sure you rest it for a while to enable its juices to flow and meat to tenderize after putting so much stress on it.

Baking steaks has not been quite of a practice during my time simply because I use to serve THAWed MEDIUM beef steaks.

FFFFTTT. Those stupid asses who dines on well done steaks. Get a doctor to advise you on how you can shit through your mouth - That'll be similar to eating well d

Employment status: Right company employee

2008-06-09T14:26:00.005+08:00

Employment Difference: Know your EMPLOYEE status
Skorcareer again posted another stunningly excellent post differentiating between the general types of employment in Malaysia. Read on to find out more about your employment status.

Loads of employees (especially young ones) are physically vulnerable to loads of smart employers who either misuse or misjudge their employees, leaving those who work under that particular company in the dark or their career path on the line. Knowing what's best for yourself during your employment can help you attain a better quality of job.

As for feasibility studies, forget about it. Youngsters do not like to read graphs, long texts and so forth. Give up some of your time to understand this EMPLOYEE STATUS topic and get the best out of your job!

Casual Workers

These type of employees do not have an official definition in the Employment Act
They are hired as and when the needs arise
They are not entitled to any leave which other ‘normal’ employee gets
They are paid daily or weekly
If these casual workers are employed regularly and they are put together with other permanent employees plus these casual workers are also paid monthly, THEN…the company may have to treat them as regular employee and therefore will get the benefits as per the others.

Temporary Workers

They have more worktime than casual employees
They are employee due to certain project needs or for a specified duration of time
The employer must issue a letter of employment to these workers
Although they are not permanent employees, they are entitle all basic benefiits in the employment law

Part Time Workers

Working hours must be less than 70% than full time employees in the same job scope and function.
Part timers get all the minimum benefits stipulated in the employment law (annual leave, sick leave, maternity etc)
Must receive an employment contract from employer before starting work.

-Dugg from Skorcareer.

Enjoy!

2008-06-04T20:23:00.003+08:00

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I'm working my ass off here with Wordswizards.com
It's been a whole great day in Johore although I was quite disappointed that I needed to reschedule loads of my time.

A great experience, indeed. I always believed in travel-writing. As always, I'll continue writing, reviewing, eating, learning, experiencing and kick many more asses before I kick the bucket.

The main topic I'm going to write is: FAMA for MAHA 2008 on Agriculture.

Cheers and wait for the updates to come. Be sure to check out NST! =)

Fuck the petrol prices again. We're going to have to pee in the petrol tank the next time prices hike 80 fucking cents again. Now, we're going to be the 2nd Tokyo soon enough, aren't we? WITHOUT the technology and pretty girls.

-Franz-

Hellish Farts for the Malaysian mind

2008-06-02T18:11:00.000+08:00

Dedicated to Andrew Lau, Stim Gooi and Jimmy Tong...
For their astounding/magnificent farting skills that rocked my world.

Hellish Farts for the Malaysian Mind

Now that you've mentioned, it's not only killing your mind, but also your nostrils - Which will then lead to your hair, then your ears, you'd probably feel someone stepping on your balls.

Let's categorize FARTS.

Sick farts.
Dirt-cheap farts.
Vulgar farts. (Also called Bitch-farts)
Continuous crazy bombarding farts.
Machine-gun farts.
Stomach farts.
Explosion farts.
Assassin's Creek farts.
Ninja farts.
Sultan of Metalicca farts.

1. Sick Farts
Sick farts are basically farts that you could almost fucking die when released. It does not smell shitty, nor does it smell spoilt. It smells something like... DURIAN.

2. Dirt-cheap Farts
Dirt-cheap farts are farts that make an impact to the ears, but no/little impact to the nose. These farts are also associated with the statement, "Big cock but cannot go erect."

3. Vulgar Farts/Bitch Farts
Bitch farts are farts whereby a person aims directly at a location (most of the time to your area) and release the gas. What happens is that, you'll probably get 60% of the fart impact first before the person who releases it.

4. Continuous crazy bombarding farts.
This is the worst, EVER. Farts like these may or may not make an impact to the nose, but definitely to the ears and your skin hair. What happens is that when someone needs to take a shit, they would fart a lot. And the fart is separated into 3 sections: Small (2 times), Medium (4 times), Big (6 times). Please, bitch-slap this idiot.

5. Machine Gun Farts
If you're music savvy, you probably know whats staccato. If you don't then the farts come in dotted waves of 'extreme' machine gun-shot noises you see in "Rambo III" or "Saving Private Ryan". They could be as life-threatening as sick farts, so beware.

6. Stomach Farts
This fart is the stupidest farts of all times. The fartee would probably be too fucking shy to release gas that he/she sucks it up back to the ass, on to the intestine/linings and keep it there, leaving the 'stomach'/tummy area growling. Beware: Farts like these accumulate over time and could just kill you in a shot.

7. Explosion farts
Dangerous, just plain dangerous. This are farts that are RELEASED by the farter to the fartee and harmed each and everyone in that area, while leaving a mark. The fart pulls some gas out of human linings, then as the gas evaporates in a small area (with little air and loads of physical contact), leaves the underpants wet. Meaning to say, shit/shitwater came out together with the fart.

8. Assassin's Creek Farts
Silent... You almost don't know that the fucker sitting right beside you hit the combination of Explosion and Sick farts right in the lift when you have 10 more floors to go. FUCKER!

9. Ninja farts.
This is considered a childish fart. Basically, what it does it that ninja farts are released so quickly that everything else needed to be released in the toilet bowl came out together with the fart.

10. Sultan of Metallica farts.
This fart is by far the best-selling/most advance farts people have seen in all times. It's a combination of almost all of the farts mentioned above - But this one is special. It includes liquid and solid stools (shit), with accompaniment of an ORCHESTRAL-like fart music, on to the shouts of each and every of their human basic instinct will avoid - I'm in a fucking big trouble, but you're far worse.

If you have any suggestions to the list above, kindly drop me a line.
And if you think you fart worse, believe me... Those whom I've mentioned above has way worse farts than you could think of durian + chilly + petai + coconut + papaya + kausai.

WORSE.

-Franz

Who would probably be the follower?

2008-06-02T15:51:00.002+08:00

I walked around KL today and I noticed something unique about kids.
All of us know that impersonation is something kids would do - And it's more than wondrous how and what the human mind can achieve even at such young age.

But the question still hits me:

Would the child follow the father more if he/she is closer to the father?
Or would there be no significant difference?
What are the factors? Could there be any outside factors even if they're as young as 2 in Malaysian standards?
What would probably be - The parent dressing them up like this or they actually pick? (At the age above 6)
How would their peers influence their likings in terms of fashion? At what age?

I really don't think that by Malaysian standards, (as opposed to the previous blog entry), Malaysian kids would probably dress something like that or... something GOTH.

What would happen to you if your brother/sister suddenly come back looking JAP-ANIME or GOTH? That could probably happen. They can borrow suits from their friends.

Yes, kids these days are getting smarter every single day. And it's annoying to see them running around vomiting their milk and/or food solids out after their 'strained' exercises.

Would you have kids? I still would. But at least that's what Hema thinks when we were in college.

-Franz

Welcome to the fashion of TAIWAN

2008-05-30T16:50:00.003+08:00

Well.. I wouldn't blame him. He's probably trying to sell his stuff.
Lesson LEARNT

DO NOT IMPERSONATE TAIWAN FASHION, you Malaysian IDIOTS.

-franz-

Suffer for 50 years or 5 seconds

2008-05-30T12:04:00.003+08:00

Dedicated to Kai Wei who's in Australia now.
I've known her for a long time and she was my internet friend. Little did I know the impact she made on me until today - A friendship which I could never ask for more.

...choose -> Suffer for 50 years or 5 seconds. No can help you but yourself. Not even God when you don't help yourself...

That's the same kind of statement I've been hearing from my dad since I was a kid. Even now, he always say the same thing, "Boy, you can do whatever you want, but just don't come home and tell me you have a kid (or going to have)."

So when Kai Wei was actually talking to me today over MSN, I realized that there is a simple connection of this 50 years and 5 seconds to work, money, sex and relationships.

Why suffer for 50 years (having a kid accidentally) when you can prevent it by using LATEX condoms (please, use Malaysian rubber) or disconnecting the connection between your crotch and her crotch before you spray your WHITE SAUCE all over her vaginal hole? (albeit her juices, it's for lubricating purposes. That 'lubricant' won't actually help your little buddies swim faster.) Or maybe TIMING yourself right and stop being so damn horny? Masturbating is an option. [tick]
Why get married at 20? Dating 'period' average for majority of people in Malaysia: 16. Dating years are like the best years to get your hoes into the holes (and vice versa). Also, you can try different colors. Brown, black, white, pale white, pink, yellow, blond, red-head, hairy, not-so-hairy, bald, big/small, erect/soft, tight/loose... You have ALL YOUR LIFE to get married but less than 10 years to do 'jumping' dating and try out all the cocks. (Whoops... Did I say cocks?)
Why work when your parents can still support you financially to survive? (with some additional perks) You have around 30 years to work after you graduate from college/Uni. Play all you can and screw around all you can because if you can afford it, don't waste your time. Unless you want to be 'smarter'. (I'm going to get criticized for this)

Unless you're willing to take the risk of regretting it when you move into 'parenthood' or the working world, always remember, follow this 5 simple steps program:

Apply Prince2 methods on your private parts and 'lustful' site of your brain.
Drink responsibly, and always keep your dicks to yourself until you're absolutely sure.
Don't think that small breasts/cocks = Not attractive. (No offence Lau / Tong)
Utilize your time by creating memories rather than just jerking off on porn.
Love your parents before you're screwed.
Forget unopen-minded ladies/men that have no 'fisible' near future.
Shit on an average of once every 32 hours. (No offence, Dexter)
Leverage your relationship and ANOTHER relationship properly without getting caught.
Pray to God that you won't have a stupid brain.
STOP any (gay) TAIWANESE-style LOVE/ROMANTIC ACTS.
Quit whining like a bitch. God made everyone equal - Physically & Mentally.
Do not dress/put on a fashion inappropriately. MUST SEE! (I'm a stereotype. Screw me idiot!)

Oh Kai Wei.. You inspired me so much. I couldn't thank you enough! =)

-Franz

Defining the term 'Asian food'

2008-05-27T23:56:00.004+08:00

I recently read the this cookbook blog and noticed a post that disturbs me so.
I'm sorry Dexter and Kenneth, but this post will still be semi-formal. The next few posts will be. And I promise you, this formality will stop soon.

And here it goes, as it says...

....many Asian recipes rely on a minimum of tools and cookware, use techniques that are easy to master, and call for only a handful of ingredients...

I bet even Chuah Sun Tar will be quite disturbed when he sees something like this. Or my Chinese cuisine mentors, Ah Hock and William who has been in the Chinese Fine Dining over 20 years. Sure, they'll jolt me with words that are simple and open - "Ahh, this is easy to do. The problem is just the time invested in it." But for years, I was impersonating and learning so much from them that I could actually even do a try-out myself.

And suddenly, Things Cooks Love gave me something to think about. How do you even start a book when you can't even term the word 'Asian' properly? If we speak of Simple Cooking as Jamie Oliver does, many 'Asian' foods can't even come close to being tagged 'Excellent'. If you've reviewed most ASEAN countries and tried all the foodstuffs in the localities, you will never, ever term 'Asian' as of what mentioned in Things Cooks Love's blog.

--------------
Over my years of cooking, I've been serving mainly Bavarian, French, Italian, Greek, Mexican, Spanish, Cantonese, Hokkien, Hainan, Hakka, Thai, Singaporean, Malaysian, Pinoy (Philippines), American, European, English, Indian, Malay, Indonesian and so much more than that. None have I ever encountered any of such that has no mix of any of the above as I mention.

I even mixed Kiam Chai (Vege soaked in brine) with a sort of rich Bolognese sauce, draped grapes over Wan Tan Mee and ate Hokkien Mee's broth with whipping cream. Some of the tests I did sucked like hell, but some were interesting combinations that can be altered and made a sumptuous and luscious delicacy.
--------------

The BIG question is:
Have Asian food being termed 'Asian' because Asian food were commercialized so drastically by the bigger players? (e.g. Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Indian)

A very comprehensive outlook and data research was done for the book, and I applaud Things Cooks Love for that. Unfortunately, a kind of untrue value was pro-founded when the topic reads "Asian Pantry". Rather than confusing non-AsianFood-believers or non-AsianFood-lovers, I'd suggest that your preliminary sentences begin with a simple walkthrough to the types of Asian food and a brief explanation of different topics (or you plan not to have), rather than canonicalizing Asian food as one in its whole.

There are many Asian food stereotypes, in almost every way you could think of. Not that I bother much about that; but, about the originality and pride of Asian food, one of the best there is after Frenchie's haute cuisine. Dry sherry do not taste as bad as Chinese rice wine, mind you. There are so many types of Chinese rice wine around, and seriously, if you were to indulge in its art, you'll find a rich historical background of these stuffs.

What Things Cooks Love disregard is the traditional classics of 'Asian' food. Generally, when I was learning Chinese cuisine, I was blasted with a list of impossible to get ingredients just for one simple marinade - A marinade that I can get in powder form. Even coloring. I've been eating and watching the oldies do it for so long, but I fail to see the process behind it - Everyone wants a piece of 'quick-fix' these days.

I'd argue that many recipes today are inflated, and brought upon a massive change of taste, texture and originality to the classics. Honing the classics could be more important than the moderns - As classics hold the fundamentals of each and every recipe. As a base to the classics, modern ones are REINVENTED to suit modern needs.

These statements do not necessarily mean that I'm against any modern recipes. I love new stuff, great ideas and creative thinkings. But if people degrade it to a stage where it's of no importance anymore, and history is long forgotten, then the Art of Cooking has lost one of its basic credentials - Basics.

Sure, you might not be able to relate all of these to ancient heroes and ancestries. But if you take the time and trouble to just perform insights, then the modern world is nothing more but a fake smile and gratitude lost forever.

Don't call yourself a Chef anymore, call yourself Descendants Of Gastronomy.

-Franz

Duriananizing the Durian's Durians

2008-05-27T14:16:00.007+08:00

Duriananizing Durians
Recently, I went to Amy Ang's blog, and I found this post on Durians. (Sorry for stealing the pic!)

Durians are regarded by many as the 'King of Fruits'. In Malaysia, there are approximately 2-3 seasons of durians - Better yet when the Thai durians come along. Usually, Thai durians would be costly at the beginning of each season - And the spikes were the one that tell which durians came from where, and the color would tell the type of fruit.

Durians can be eaten in many ways. You can either eat it just like that, with glutinous rice, with your standard starches (e.g. Potato), tempoyak (fermented durian flesh) used to cook curries and thin soups, dodol (Gummy durian paste), durian flesh and coconut shavings, etc. Generally, they are eaten as-is.

Typical durianized* Malaysians will tell you, "Can you feel it?"

The better part of durian is of course, the smell of it. If you haven't been near it, or took a nose sip of it, I suggest you try it out. It smells pretty good at one end, but for those who hate it, it smells worse than a dead rat. I particularly love durians, especially the smell. When it comes to excellent, fresh ones.. Nothing smells better.

It's divided into two: The smell of durian's outer layer (skin/carapace) and the smell of the meat itself. These two offer their own distinct, genuine, robust flavor on your nostrils. It's a kind of fruity, durianish flavor where you can immediately differentiate between the carapace and the flesh. When I was in Penang, I use to love putting a whole bunch of durians in my car boot - It makes my whole car smell of durian.

Durian's smell could be as devastating as farts, sometimes worse. I remember going out on a hot day once - And we driving home from a public swimming pool. That morning, I had a dozen or more shots of durians. The aircond was on full blast because the day was hot. And suddenly, I belched. 3 of my other friends almost died.

Durian's nature of being some people's worst nightmare come from that - Other than just Garlic, Ginger or Petai. It's dangerous form of murder, stench, exhausted a mix of various gas including the release of acids. For example, eating rice vermicelli for dinner, and for supper, 3 bottles of Scotch Whiskey. When you throw up, it's rice vermicelli. Now that's extremely bad.

I know of a classic fermented durian recipe that has been taught to me. I found it superbly excellent, and you should try this too. The steps are more like the German Sauerkrauts, but it's durian instead of cabbage.

Fermented Durian Recipe
Durian flesh* - 500g
Salt
Air-tight jar/container

Peel durian flesh from its seed. This should be easy as it's already quite old.
Press it and split the flesh to make it into bit sizes. They should not come in contact with water. Do not chop/blend them.
Put durian flesh into the jar 1/4 full. Add a pinch of salt.
Repeat Step 3 until it's full.
Top off with a little more salt. Remember only a pinch of salt.
Screw the jar/container. Keep in the fridge for a minimum of 1 year.

*Durian flesh has to be an old durian (about to spoil). You will know when you peel them (easier pry open), and their soft flesh. Some might be sweeter than usual. If you find worms or spoilt flesh inside, it does not mean that it's old.

You can actually use this (1 year later) for soups like Tempoyak soup with Fish Broth, Marinade it with chicken and steam it, boil them with bitter green vegetables (leafy) and so forth. If you need more recipes and info, contact me personally.

Thank you Amy for the inspiration!

-Franz

Malaysia and Rape: Perogol Malaysia

2008-05-25T00:54:00.003+08:00

Malaysia, Rape and Women's Attire

Request by Dexter Gan and Kenneth.
It put me to a shame to be called a Malaysian sometimes, when issues like "Rape has nothing to do with Woman's Attire" came around somewhere on the papers. A national paper.

“The white blouse is too transparent for girls and it becomes a source of attraction,” said the vice-president, Munirah Bahari of the National Islamic Students Association of Malaysia.

WHAT-ever, Miss Munirah.

School-time WHITE BLOUSES
If you're not from Malaysia, you probably won't know that Malaysian schoolgirls wear pinafores. Navy blue for primary and sky blue for secondary. Behind the pinafore is the white blouse.

Maybe you did notice, Ms Munirah. Since white blouses are really 'revealing' after so much contact with cloth detergents and bleaches, it became thin. Some parents are not bothered to buy new clothes for their children each and every year. Probably some even cannot afford them.

I can't believe you're SO SHALLOW-MINDED. Even my younger brother wouldn't think like that. If you look at the other factors and stop citating Islam, you probably could see the world in whole. Before you continue reading this, let me tell you one simple thing, "It takes more than looks to get men to throw their pants down." I'm not being a stereotype, mind you. I'm being realistic.

Ms Munirah's argument was, "Decent clothes which are not revealing can prevent and protect women from any untoward situations," suggesting that girls wear a blouse of a different color or with an undergarment.

In school: White, translucent white blouses attract MEN. Teenagers are ought to have this grow pretty damn fast at this age. With pornographic materials going through their backpacks and the insertion of penis to the vagina plays over and over again for certain 'MEN-in-school'. Think about it: They may be aroused. But would they have the chance if all schoolgirls took necessary precautions?
In school: Fashion is vital to one's healthy growth. Outlook is of the upmost importance. How can you ever blame them for trying to be fashionable if they wear PINK BRAS with their white blouses? Or dolphin-printed BLUE PANTIES under their pinafore? Some dress for themselves, not other people. They don't purposely FLASH their PANTIES around school.
In school: Should we blame the parents or the students? Let's now blame the Ministry of Education for imposing white blouses on female students in school, if you want to argue about White Blouses in school.
In school: To curb problems like these, students should be EDUCATED, not LIMITED. They should learn stuff like that from young - Your school TEACHERS play an important role in making their students understand the art of Sex, Attraction and Seduction.
In school: I have seen, revealing baju kurungs. They are worse than white blouses behind pinafores, simply because they are full-fledged display without something to cover-up. (Childish statement, but screw you, you started it)
In school: When these girls sweat, their shirt gets wet. Instead of asking them not to wear white blouses, why can't you ask them to wear something inside like a thin blouse/singlet/spag strap? Should they even consider 'colorizing' the white blouse? Or you put too much attention on something that has happened to your significant other?
In school: School girls shouldn't be too afraid of these people. The more they're afraid, the worse the situation will become. Instead, what they can do is to go to the right people to handle the situation. Now that even teachers/discipline teachers/fathers rape their own students/daughters, who else can be trusted? Let's take a minute to pray to God.
In school: If you're even so worried about translucent blouses, why not ASK SCHOOLGIRLS TO WEAR PANTS like how all the male students do? Why not reduce the chance right away? Instead of leaving a huge hole down there for perverts to peep, take all your 'necessary precautions'. Let them wear pants.
In school: Implicating that decent clothings should be worn in school, why not try this idea: Schoolgirls should wear BIGGER blouses. Why? I know a C-cup student who has a problem with the 'expand' of her pinafore. And an overweight student who has a problem with her 'fat breasts'. Let's kill the problem in a shot. Ask them to wear 'personalized, oversized' blouses.

All of these statements are stupid. But what's the source? Your statement. What's the lesson? Consider all factors before going to the media. If you think you know everything, then you probably don't.

Let's talk about RAPE. Before that, understand first Hubungan Seks. Understand already? That's Wiki. Anyone can post something funny there. It is funny, anyway.

Ms. Munirah said, "This (Wearing white blouses to attract men) could see them getting molested, having premarital sex and all sorts of things."

First of all, ISLAMIC CLOTHING DOES NOT NECESSARILY PREVENT SEXUAL ASSAULTS.

> Why would you even say something like that? It's probably time for you to stop judging things by just looking at it on the surface, but rather a deeper understanding about humans. Because STUPID STATEMENTS like yours could get you loads of STUPID RESPONSES like mine. And also, MODERN people like me will look down on you as if you're a stupid jerk who probably not smart enough to even think straight. Putting that on The Star could be the worst decision made in your entire life, trust me.

> Full/Covered clothings do not necessarily prevent sexual assaults. Why? Because I'm male, mind you. I have two balls and a dong. I have testosterones in my body. Islamic clothing suggests covering up, but did it mention,

covering up WITHOUT tight clothing, or
covering up WITHOUT her having superb butt/boobs/erected nipples/face, or
covering up WITHOUT selling her butt on red light district, or
covering up WITHOUT walking in the dark alley alone, or
covering up WITHOUT carrying a GUCCI bag, ready to get stolen, or,
covering up WITHOUT wearing apparels, or
covering up WITHOUT a 'horny' smile, or at least people think so, or
covering up WITHOUT going to clubs and parties, or
covering up WITHOUT letting anyone even touch your skin, or

> Rape is properly defined in this Malaysian Rape article posted by Ms Fiza. At least she USES her BRAINS by EXPANDING her MIND. I share her shame, not as a Muslim woman but as a Malaysian. I'm sorry, I see Malaysia/all races as one.

> Your 'decent' clothing will not help. Of course, I wouldn't say sexy clothing will not be of a factor too. But it's something so small that only 'KAMPUNG' people would take that as a huge factor. They probably haven't seen the street of Los Angeles or Tokyo or Hong Kong or maybe, KL. Take yourself to a nightclub, will you? You'll find yourself wanting to rape everyone, if you have that thinking.

> Rape is also defined as a desperate need of sexual attention from another party which utterly turns out to be an action taken to force someone to fulfill their desire of having sexual attention from the other party, like it or not. So, instead of complaining about clothing, start complaining about:

Women's mutual desire with men - Sex.
Their needs - Attention, attraction, beauty, fashion, vanity, integrity.
Their 'patterns' - Horny, bitchy, sexy, nude-all-the-way, crazy, stupid, poor, lazy.
Their desire - Decent man, money, attention, attraction.

And many other more I can't think of at the moment.

There is much more I want to say. But I'll rest my case for now. Hope you read this, Ms. Munirah. Welcome to HELL.

-Franz

When food alternatives are better

2008-05-23T18:02:00.004+08:00

If you find yourself in an empty kitchen with a growling stomach and empty pocket, you probably just have to use your brains to figure out - What's next on my pan. That's probably one of the places where your creativity juices flow.

The craziest things I've ever done before is no match to that 5 minute dish improvisation that caught my attention after getting it done for a while. I don't know if you can actually mix something like that, but heck, I've done it. So can you.

When I opened my cupboard, all I have left was:

A bunch of dried herbs.
Loads of seasonings.
Unused gula melaka.
Malay and Indian spices.
Ants.

To my dismay, all there's left in the fridge were almost insufficient. Shopping day's tomorrow, but I need to eat now or else my stomach would roar so hard I would burst. So I looked into my fridge, and I found two (2) ingredients that were enough to satisfy my hunger.

Basic tomato sauce and Kiam Chai (Salted Vege)

OKAY!

Minced Pork balls
500g Minced Pork, rough
1 handful Breadcrumbs
1 tsp Dried Thyme, topped
1/2 tsp Dried Oregano
1 no egg white, small
1/2 tsp cornstarch
1 tsp Chilly Flakes
1 tsp+ Black Pepper
1/2 tsp Cinnamon Powder
Pinch of salt
Pinch of MSG

Mix well. Season and check. Roll them into golf ball sizes. Brown them good.
Remove and set aside.

CHEAP brand Pasta
100g CHEAP brand pasta (Almost killed my whole meal)

Tomato Kiam Chai Sauce with loads of crap inside
2 cloves Garlic, chopped
2 no Roma Tomatoes, chopped
Basic tomato sauce - 200-300ml
Kiam Chai - 10 thin slices, unwashed.
Cold water - 1 cup
Vinegar, white distilled
1/2 handful Fresh Basil, torn roughly
Seasoning. (Only sugar, pepper and chicken powder)
Extra virgin olive oil. (CHEAP brand)

In a skillet, get in your 1 cup of water and turn on your fire. Place your kiam chai inside. Add in 1 tbsp white distilled vinegar/CHEAP/Man-made/beggar's. Bring to a boil and boil for 1 minute. Remove. Throw water away.
Fry your garlic with some oil. Get them VERY light brown. Add in your kiam chai and continue frying. Now spread your kiam chai so that they don't stack.
When both are about to turn bitter, sprinkle a little bit of vinegar into the pan for it to evaporate. Note that 2 tbsp would be adequate. Immediately fry your chopped roma tomatoes until they are quite dry. Try not to boil them. Add in your tomato sauce and meat balls.
Cook your tomato sauce and reduce it for a while. You may want to add in your 'Sherry' or 'Dry Red Wine' here. Continue reducing it until it's quite thick.
Turn off the heat when it's quite thick (there will be some water on the sides) and let it dry for a moment. Don't worry about the splitting if it does happen. Pour your olive oil on top. 1 tbsp will be adequate.
Serve with rice/pasta or on top of chickens as a sauce. You can do anything you want with it.

If you think this is too stupid, then don't do it. If you want something fancy, mince the meat, top it on your bowl of salads, as a replacement to your Thousand Island/Mayo/Vinegar-based/Egg-based dressing.

-Franz

Answer No.5 for Food Questionnaire

2008-05-20T10:32:00.004+08:00

Following the post Evaluate your food knowledge
As per The Expedited Writer request.

Question:
What makes a tomato-based sauce injected with stabilizers split?

Answer:

Extreme heating which leads to molecule splitting.
Overcooking that leads to overexpanding of ions.
Incorporation of strong alkaline (sometimes Lye water works on certain brands)
Microwave-oven with strong radioactive wave and long period of heating.
Contact with air.
Contact with brine (long period of time)

Note:
Please take note that my definition of stabilizer is not 'Thickening Agent' as in starches, flour or eggs.

Since tomato sauces are acid themselves, 'acid overkilling' wouldn't possibly happen although I don't regard it as impossible. There could be more techniques available around to split a tomato based sauce with stabilizer, but these are as per my experiences.

Some argue that a tomato sauce looks split when too much oil is around. Kindly be reminded that those are not sauce splitting - They are basically not binded because these two elements work like vinegar and oil.

According to US Food Patents:

STP/Erythorbate blend
Sodium tripolyphosphate
Sodium Erythorbate

Are used for liquidations, with a mix of less than 2% of water in approximate value.

You do not need to actually know this technical stuff, but it's at least a guideline for you. Acid and alkaline can be a pain in the ass.

-Franz

When you close your eyes again

2008-05-10T22:29:00.002+08:00

Inspired by 'You Know Who You Are'
I wasn't quite willing to write this, but since I got quite of a response, I decided that I should, at least a bit. It's okay, as long as both parties are happy, I'm more than willing to continue writing about it.

If you wish upon a shooting star,
Your wish would fly pass you so quickly that you lose it.

If you wish upon a shining moon,
Your wish would be as round and damaged as the surface of the moon.

If you wish upon a wishing well,
Your wish would be as stale as the water if no one throws a coin in.

If you wish upon a mountain quake,
Your wish would be shaky, tumbling stones that might just kill.

Two doors adjacent to your position is the key to a door,
A journey almost endless, you can barely believe the magic ball.
Kissing up to your own wounds could only mean you're willing to carry on,
Standing up from a fall could only mean you are ready to fight,
But keeping away from the facts of life can only mean,
That you're not ready to carry on.

Open up your heart and look into your inner self,
Whether your words tally much with your internal voices,
Spring won't stay forever, winter will not end in a week,
Earth don't take a day to move around the sun,
As opposed to love, which can tumble in half the time you take to build it.

The key to moving forward is the determination one could have,
A strong will, a powerful mind, the strength to not give up,
As men would forever be behind the mask of darkness,
I wouldn't say, daunting is your problem.

The way we were brought up influenced our personality,
Much more than a person who is being slammed by reality,
Or the world's harshfulness,
Giveth the time to slender in a train of thoughts,
They might still sway to a swamp where ghosts defile.

When you close your eyes again,
You'll see the purity heaven has given to you,
Much more than the person who left your heart swollen and broken,
As if it slaps you with a cruelty never existed before.

When you close your eyes again,
You'll feel the warmth of a heart's thump,
An angel standing by you, waiting to work his magic,
To your empty heart that you feel so nonchalantly down,
To the pit of fire hells have burnt for you.

Amidst the time when you feel least burdened,
Because of the way streams of happiness took oer you,
It tells you so, "Nothing will come between our way"
When a touch meant more than a thousand meanings,
Or when a look in the eye says more than a thousand words,
You'll lose yourself worse than losing your integrity.

As you speak of dwindling hopes of the unseen,
And trembling thoughts of a split, do know that..

When you close your eyes,
Your soul catches you;

And it's up to you to decide
In which manner should you act.

-Franz

Lagu Erotika Putus Cinta

2008-05-10T11:10:00.004+08:00

Request by Stim Gooi.
Stim Gooi has been a friend of mine since we were almost too young to remember. Until today, he's more than just a friend but still less than a lover to most people: Still...

Lagu Erotika Putus Cinta
(Erotic Song of Heartbreaks)

Tuning: Standard E
Intro: Am, C, G, D, Em, Am

Am
Bila ku sentuh punani mu... (Punani mu..)
C
Aku jatuh cinta...... (jatuh cinta...)
G
Selama ini ku hanya mimpikan.... [Gm]dugaan tak pakai kondom
D
MAHU.... Lah AK[Dm]U.. menarik keluar [A7]batangku....

Chorus:
G
Forever love.......... I will still [G7]find the way to get you into my pants[D].....
D
Forever lust........... Aku [D7]MEMI.............KIRkan cinta[D]....
C
Apatah bayi itu memang [C7]bayi[C9] ku[C]....
Am
It'll always be in my heart [D][Dadd7][D][Dadd7]

Verse 1
C
Fikirkan lah.. hati ku... yang menjunus, [Cm]minda mu...
G
Fikirkan lah, zhi bai mu.. yang[C9add7] ku perap, batang ku...
D
Selama ini, ku tidak pasti kahwin [F7]itu, satu tragedi..
F
Selama ini, ku tidak tahu keseronokan [Am7]hisapan mu..
G
Di dunia mu dan ku, bimbingan [C]Ooi akan menjadi....

Chorus

Solo: Metallica - ONE

Verse 2
F
Alahai puteri jelitaku.. mukamu mengores[Fm] tipuan angin buoy..
G
Hentaman batangku ke [Gb]punanimu di fikiranku, [Bm]bila ku lancap...
D
Oh, zhi bai! [D7]Terlupa pula girlfriend ku di sebelah muka ku[Db]..
C
Yang terpesong dan hampir nak memotong bola sen[A7]sitifku..

Power Chords (Metal Paddle)
A7
Masih [Ab7]lagi [G7]ku mahukan [B7]cinta mu.. Apatah [C7]bayi 'miss cue' kita..
E7
Oh puteri sayang, kembalilah ke sisi ku..

Chorus

Solo: Dreamtheater - This Dying Soul

Outro:
Am, Bm7, Db

Ending
Gbmaj6
Oh chin ta...

-Franz

Fish Curry of BM, Penang, Malaysia

2008-05-10T10:42:00.003+08:00

Inspired by Auntie Salwa, who is in Hong Kong now.
Auntie Salwa has been a great cook for more than 30 years in her life, and has shared with me a tremendous amount of skills even Chefs like Jamie Oliver cannot beat.

Recipe request by Jess, who's in Australia now.
The morning came in to me like a small flower blooming into a big one when the sun shines. What made my day most is my Peers. Gooi gave me a thing to think about yesterday, while Ben made me smile in my office yesterday.

Fish Curry of BM, Penang, Malaysia
This curry is a thin curry, not like a gulai but a slight combination of curry and gulai. The difference here is that it has an influence of Nyonya, Thai and Malay all combined into a single dish.

Recipe
Indian Mackerel (Ikan Kembong) - 10 no, medium-small sized, dressed

Fish curry powder - 2 tbsp flat
Water - 4 tbsp

Ginger flower (Bunga Kantan) - 2 tbsp, sliced
Shallots - 2 no, medium, sliced
Garlic - 2 cloves, sliced
Lemongrass (Serai) - 1 no, end-smashed
Asam Jawa - 1/4 handful, mixed with 2 tbsp water and seeds removed
Red and green mini jalapenos (Cili Padi) - 5 no each
Water - 3 cups (more or less)

After dressing your fish, set them aside and grab a small bowl. Mix water with curry powder, until it dilutes into a pasty-like texture.
Add oil into your medium sized pot and heat it up. Fry your fish curry powder mix until it's dry. You'll know it's dry when you see it sticking to the pan. Remove paste and set aside. If it sticks too much, it means your heat is too high. Make sure you cook the paste in a very slow fire while stirring it to avoid sticking.
In the same pot, add in more oil and turn up the heat. You should see curry paste sticking inside the pot frying away. Immediately add in your shallots and garlic. Fry until it's fragrant.
Add in water to deglaze. Put in all of your ingredients (except for the fish) and bring to a boil. Mix well.
Turn down your heat, then add in your fish. The fish cooks when its meat is flaky. Simmer for about 15 minutes or so, depending on your heat. Make sure all of the 10 no of fishes are cooked.
Season well, and serve with rice.

Where you can adjust:

Asam Jawa - To turn it sour or not-so-sour.
Cili Padi - To turn it less spicy or more spicy.
Fish curry powder - You can also use chilly boh but mixed with other fish herbs (powder)
Water - You can use fish stock if you have some in hand.

Be advised!

-Franz

Evaluate your food knowledge

2008-05-07T22:42:00.003+08:00

Recently, I was brainstorming articles and write-ups for my future site, Foodconsultant.my and I brainstormed a quiz for my readers. These questions are a good training evaluation for rising Chefs - And if you can answer these questions without a sweat, you know that you've achieved quite a lot in your years of cooking.

Here are the questions:

Saffron strands or powder goes better with hot foods like Mac & Cheese and Lasagne?
How do you actually un-salt a boiling pot of water if you over-salt it, without pouring away the boiled water?
What other hardening agents that can be used for desserts other than gelatin, agar-agar, jelly powder, half-cooked yolks and egg whites?
What differentiates pasta names?
What makes a tomato-based sauce injected with stabilizers split?
At what point, a regular white squid will harden and if it overcooks (hard), how do we tenderize them?
Explain 'rigor mortis'. What else does it apply to?
Yeast's best friend is sugar. What is tomato's best friend? Name two (2) non-herb.
What are the other popular methods of using breadcrumbs, than coating?
What is xanthan gum?
What wine would you recommend if a guest asks you to pair it with his Cadbury Hazelnut chocolate?
How do you know if this cooking wine suits this dish? What are the factors to consider?
Should your Gorgonzola cheese being left outside in a humid room, and little green 'grass' appears, will it still be edible?
What is the name of the acid that is used by oldies to make cheese, back then by putting it in a cow's stomach?
Can butter be homemade?
What is the difference between processed buttermilk and organic buttermilk?
How do you make Creme Fraiche?
What makes fresh mozzarella better when made out of buffalo's milk than cow's milk?
What comes into your mind when you read the text, 'BRATWURST'?
Prosciutto and pancetta, pomodori and vongele. What are the translations?

-Franz

Back To Food Basics: Boiling Pasta

2008-05-07T06:15:00.001+08:00

Back to Food Basics: Pasta
Boiling dried pasta to its perfection could keep you happy for the entire day.

There are times where we are so confident with out routine that we fail to see particulars of a perfectly boiled pasta. Don't get cocky, read up and learn.

Here are some guidelines:

Boiling Pasta: Parboiling is a no-no
Parboiling means boiling your pasta beforehand, then boiling them up later again before serving. You can do parboiling in commercial kitchens, but make sure they are at the maximum rate of 70% cooked before you even think of leaving them in the fridge to cool. Try not to parboil pasta at home. Have two range tops and get them done together with your sauces.
Boiling Pasta: Correct water level and generous salting
In events of a few pasta boiling techniques implemented by chefs, they use the ratio of 10:100:1000 (10g salt, 100g dry pasta, 1000ml water). I suggest you do not follow this guideline. Always check out the height and width of your pot, measure it with the pasta strands (if you're using long pasta). Make sure when your pasta softens, it's double the height of the level your pasta is at: Just like cooking rice. For the amount of salt, use less than 50g for every pasta pack you boil.
Boiling Pasta: Boil pasta as if you're cooking
Boiling pasta isn't boiling potatoes - You cannot leave them staying there for the whole six (6) minutes or more without disturbing them. Stir well - Make sure they are spread out (look at no.7) and stir to make sure they are not sticking to each other (uneven cooking) or to the pot. Control your fire and keep your temperature stable.
Boiling Pasta: Vulnerability and Temptation
Dry pasta break quickly and almost too easily. Do not be tempted to break them into half to fit the size of your pot. Instead, spread them all around in the pot (standing position) then slowly mix them in around with your wooden spatula or fork. The pasta 'legs' will then soften and everything will eventually go in. Also, do not stir too vigorously in the beginning as it may break your pasta into bits.
Boiling Pasta: When do I salt the water?
Salt the water when it's around 90C - In high simmer just 1 minute or less before boiling. Adding them in too early will make you wait longer for your water to boil and adding them too late will result in irregular absorption of salt. A tip for home cooks: Boil water in an electric kettle, pour them into your pot, wait for 30 secs, stirring the water, turn on the heat and add your salt. That's the best time.
Boiling Pasta: Do I need to add olive oil?
If you have loads of money to throw, yes. There are arguments on this topic before, but my suggestion is this - To play safe, always use a bit of oil, but you do not have to use olive oil as it's just a waste of money. Instead of thinking, "Oh the oil will absorb into the pasta", think "It's a lubricant for my pasta before I add in premium oil."
Boiling Pasta: Spreading long pastas like a peacock's feather-tail.
Spreading your pasta out could help you counter pasta sticking to each other or to the pan. But ultimately, pasta sticking to each other could mean - Temperature too low, inadequate stirring and chunk cooking. It all comes back to one specific point - Your pasta is not cooked evenly. So boil your pasta well, spread them out correctly (twist your hand as you release pasta into the water or spread them out standing on the pot) stir them correctly and get them out in a timely fashion.
Boiling Pasta: Testing For al dente
The meaning of al dente has been widely misused by Malaysian chefs. Al dente means soft on the outside and quite hard in the inside. Meaning to say, a regular dried pasta cooks perfectly when you stop its cooking at 85-90%. To test your pasta, pick one up and chew. It should be soft on the outside but still quite hard in the inside. Remember, it'll still cook for a while even after you turn off the heat and drain the water (if you do not drown them in ice water.) Using your hand to press is a quick solution but disastrous.
Boiling Pasta: Drowning Pasta in Ice Water
This method is effective for home and commercial use if you want to boil pasta for tomorrow's dinner or tonight's eat-in. After cooking your pasta, strain them in a colander, then quickly chuck them into a bowl of ice water filled with water. Continue stirring the pasta in the water quickly - Do not leave them in the ice water then go TAKE A SHIT. This will stop the cooking and maintain your consistency.
Boiling Pasta: What if I want to use them immediately?
Then drain your pasta, and quickly put them into a bowl. Add your extra virgin olive oil and mix them well, quickly. Now, pour your sauce in and mix. Then top it with your cheese, lastly, herbs.

Things to remember when preparing pasta:

Never leave the pot unattended to.
Never close the lid of the pot.
Never ask your 5 year old kid to stir the pasta.
Never break your pasta into half then boil.
You can steam your sauces (if in bottles) then add to hot pasta (refer to no.10)
You can cook your pasta sauce first, but keep it hot (or reduce sauce when you're boiling pasta)
If you parboil pasta, get them to the max of 70% cooked. If you're a beginner, do not parboil.
Do things quickly in order to avoid pasta being overcooked.
If you want to fry your pasta, remember that frying will not remove loads of water from the pasta - Instead it'll continue cooking the pasta so do it fast.
Do not mix and match - Pasta boiling times vary according to their size, shape and pattern. Putting in your fat linguine and thin angel hair pasta together will spoil everything. DO NOT ever mix pastas together in one pot to boil them.

Now that you know a few steps and help yourself brainstorm a few more, remember that we have:

Cold pasta
Warm pasta
Marinaded pasta
Hot Pasta
Saucy Pasta
Fried Pasta

While you can always mix and match ingredients to pasta's preparation methods, it should get you up and creative.

-Franz